Sunday, December 16, 2012

My Girlfriends Are Crazy

So, first of all, we're not dead.

We needed to do some relocation.  We're still recovering from Operation Summerborn, if you can fucking believe that.

Here's the short version of Summerborn:  We had inside men and women in Ace's organization.  They helped us get Knight of Coins--that's Leo, by the way--out of Ace's hands.  We wanted to keep them in, so we weren't saying much about it, but, surprise fucking surprise, Ace managed to sniff them out.  We had to free them.  One of them didn't make it.  I'm sure they fucking fed her to that fucking pet monster of theirs.

We're trying not to think about that.  But we, I mean me, because it's hit Tara, Ginger (Ten), and Leo pretty fucking hard and it's hard for them not to think about it.  Tara and Ginger were the ones that came up with the plan, and Ginger and Leo knew our insiders pretty well.

Right now, we're consolidating our resources, regrouping, and trying to stop Smiley from filleting a preteen boy.  So far, we have jack all resources, only a bare minimum of people--if fucking that, and we've narrowed Smiley's location down to one of half a dozen fucking places in this confusing fucking city, and the boy'll probably be dead in less than a week unless we hurry and tag it.

Also, in other news?  The girls I'm dating are really fucking crazy.

I woke up last night with Chelsea's hand on my stomach.  I asked her what the fuck she was doing and she said, "Shhh, I'm getting you pregnant."

Then, out of nowhere--because she wasn't there when we went to bed--Penny comes up and puts her hand on my stomach and says.  "I'm aborting your baby."

Then Chelsea said, "That's awful!  Keep your hand there.  I want to see which one of us wins."

Some nights I almost wish I'd stayed celibate.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

AN EXCERPT FROM MY EROTICAL JEANETTE/ALISON SLASH FANFICTION

"Oh Alison."  Jeanette said, softly touching Penny on the cheek.  "Let me fucking show you how a woman really fucking loves another fucking woman."

"You can't, dumbass."  Alison softly moaned back.  "I'm blind."

---COPYRIGHT ALICE  MASON 2012

Monday, November 12, 2012

More From the Road

So I guess by now you can probably guess Operation Summerborn was pretty fucking successful.

Mostly, anyway.

I can't go into details just yet.  There're still some pieces in play.  Or maybe we're just fucking with Ace and want him to think we do.  Guess that's just our little secret.

There's one thing I can say, I guess.  And I probably should, because knowing her, Alice would just fucking tell you all in the most fucking embarrassing way possible, but we're engaged, now.

Alice and I, I mean.

And I might be dating Penny too?  Sort of?  And Alice is cool with it?

I don't fucking know.  This is all really fucking confusing.  I don't even know if we can get actually married, seeing as I'm pretty much a fugitive from the law and stuff.

And I really don't know what's going on with me and Penny.  I say we're kind of dating but mostly we're just...really awkward and sometimes we cuddle and half the time she just makes fun of me and tells me I'm cuddling her wrong?

I really, really don't fucking know why Alice doesn't fucking care, either.  I'm fucking engaged to her but when she sees me and Penny together she's all "That's so cute!  I'mma take a picture and put it on my facebook", and then Penny's all, "you don't have a facebook", and then Alice says, "I'll make one just for this picture.  It'll be called 'My sister and my fiancee:  a romanticall journey'".

...Jesus Fucking Christ, why am I so goddamn head over heels for this family?

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Breaking Radio Silence

Breaking radio silence for a quick heads up.

Gonna need to leave as soon as I post this.

It's been months, but we have Knight.

We're not anywhere fucking close to being fucking safe at fucking all yet, though.

More when we're somewhere more secure.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Operation: Summerborn

This is just a post to let Ace of Wands know something.

Operation:  Summerborn is a fucking go.

We're saving Knight.  You better fucking believe it.  Because Operation:  One Night In Bangkok?  That was fucking nothing compared to this.

On that note,

Q > K4

Thursday, July 19, 2012

bend me break me anyway you need me

We meet up with Jeanette and Alison tomorrow.


I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I see them.  I've been talking with Tara about it a lot.  And sometimes I ask Ten for her opinion, which annoys her, so I do that some more, because I have to get the younger sibling instinct satisfied somehow.


I've missed them.  I love them both (not in the same way obviously).  I want them both to be happy...and I'm not sure which of us would make Jeanette happier.  And I'm not sure Penny wants to be happy.  And a jealous part of me doesn't care if Penny is happy or not.  Jeanette's the only person I've been with that...that gets me, you know?   And she's so cool.  And amazing. And really, really hot.


And now she has both crazy Balisong sisters nipping at her...I was going to say "skirts" but I don't think I've ever seen Jeanette wearing something that isn't a pair of black jeans.


I guess the mature thing to do would be to talk to them about this rather than venting to the public, but eh, that takes too much work, emotionally.


I guess I just don't know where it goes from here, you know?  Penny's being all Doomsayer on us...and she's probably right.  I just...what do you do with the knowledge that one or more of your friends is absolutely going to die?  Especially since...the way Penny's been talking...I'm pretty sure at least one of them will be one of the two two people I care about most in the world.


And then she drops the "I love you" bomb.


What do people do in this situation?  I try to think of  something, but I keep getting sad and frustrated.


Maybe there isn't something for me to do.  But I can't think like that.  Maybe Jeanette and Penny can, but I...


There has to be something I can do.


-Alice

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Not Much Time

Paramilitary goons are looking for us.  We don't have a whole lot of time, so I'll make this brief.

Penny's with me.  She's preparing a transcript of me finding her.  She insists I don't just fucking tell you, because she likes her transcripts.  Whatever.  It doesn't matter.

I'll say two things before I shut down this laptop and we get the fuck out of here:  One, the others found Tara, and we're working on a rendezvous, preferably somewhere neutral where Ace's goons won't find us.

Two, the thing that came out of King?

We're going to have to kill it.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

No Word From Jeanette

I could sign on here with my own gmail account, but I'm waaay too lazy for something like that.


This is Alice.  We're in California.  It looks like Tara was here, but from what I can gather, we just missed her.  She seems to have been lucid, so I sent her an email.


I'm a little worried about Jeanette, though.  She hasn't gotten back to us yet.  Last we heard from her was a text that said she had found Penny.  She was going to talk to her and...that was like sixteen hours ago.  I'm worried.  Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm fretting and kind of freaking out.  I just got her back...I don't want to lose her again.  I'm not sure I could take losing her again.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

On The Right Track

I'm in St. Louis.  The other two are on their way.  They'll be in LA tomorrow.

No sign of Penny, or Alison.  Whatever the fuck you want to call her.  But she sent me an email.

"you're on the right track (it's a train pun.  GET IT?)
i'll be there tomorrow
steal me a cheeseburger and some bourbon
and meet me at the dumb mall train station thing"

So I'll try that Union Station place tomorrow.  Guess I should steal those things because I'm a fucking delivery service now.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Penny

Penny left this.  In theory.

No fucking clue if it's actually her.

I hope it is.  I really fucking do.  Alice does too, but she's jumping at the possibility a bit too eagerly.  I think she'd run directly into hell if there was a chance this was her sister.

Alice think that the what Penny meant was, Tara is, or will be, near her old house, where her parents live.  It's where Penny's eyes got burned out.  I think I agree with Alice--that's pretty much what she'd consider her beginning, the morbid fucking bitch.

I miss her.

Which is why I'm going to find her.  She said "a station heading west".  Not much to go on.  But if I had to guess, I'd say she's in St. Louis, the "gateway to the west".  If she's not, then I'll start there and head west and hit as many train stations as I can.

Alice and Ten are going to LA to find Tara.  I don't fucking care if they don't want to split up, if there's a trap, I want both of them together.  I can handle a trap on my own.

We head out tomorrow.  As soon as we fucking can.

We'll find them.  We'll get back together.

I fucking promise that.

Monday, July 2, 2012

The Things With Dead Eyes That Used To Be Men

Fuck.

Don't even know where to fucking begin here.  This is some fucked up shit.  Maybe this sort of thing is like, fucking preschool stuff to some of you out there, but I've only been really dealing with Smiley, never many of the others, not fucking directly.

I didn't really believe Alice at first, because it sounded like a pretty tall fucking tale, but Ten corroborates, and I've fucking seen them with my own fucking eyes, so listen up.  And if any of this sounds familiar with anyone, let me know.  I'd like to know what I'm fucking dealing with.  And what the fuck it did with Tara and Alison.

I'd just met up with Ten and Alice.  It was a bit after I punched Ten in the face on principle.  We were out looking for somewhere to get food and maybe get some ice for Ten's face.

Alice was the first one to see it, maybe because she's been the one to see them more.  Still feel pretty fucking careless not spotting it first, though.  Fucking monocular vision.  She saw someone being dragged into an alley.    Ten didn't want to get involved but, fuck it, what's the point of being a goth cowboy if you don't go fucking vigilante once in a fucking while?

She told me to be careful, but I told her I knew what I was doing.  Then I looked down the alley and realized no, I really fucking didn't.

I'm going to say here that it was like a zombie, and I know the first fucking thing that will come to your mind is a Romero zombie.  This wasn't like that.  They're more like voodoo zombies.  They're living and mindless and focused on the task in front of them. This one grabbed a guy and was dragging him, hand over his mouth, somewhere down the alley.

Another thing?  It looked like it was...absorbing the color around it, I guess you could say.  It was all grey and washed out, and I could see that in some places, the guy it was holding was like that too.  Like if Rainbow Brite had a fucking voodoo priest in her Rogues Gallery or something.

I don't know what it was going to do next.  I didn't give it fucking time.  I sprinted up to the fucker with my knife out--to big major a street to risk the Anaconda--and jabbed it right in the bastard's throat.  Grey blood gushed from it, but it kept hauling the guy back.  Like I'd just barely fucking tapped it.

I still didn't want to use the Colt, so I grabbed a loose brick from the alley floor and smashed it down on the zombie...thing's head.  I did that a couple of times, enough that I saw its skull cave in.  It just fucking let me hit it, too.  Didn't even pause dragging the guy back.

I was about to just shoot the fucker when it slowed and stopped, and then loosened its grip and fell back.  The guy it had scurried away as fast as he could and took off screaming.  Ten, Alice, and I had to get away fast, so we couldn't investigate the body.

What we think happened is, it doesn't need the brain to work.  It's programmed, like a fucking computer.  Only thing that killed it in the end was blood loss, because it just really fucking needs the limbs and lungs to work, and it took way too much of that before it started fucking slowing.

My suggestion?  You see these things, go for the heart.  Stop the blood flow altogether.  If I'm right that'll fucking down them faster than anything.

Wish I knew what the fuck they were, or where the fuck they came from.  Best guess?  Whatever the fuck was in King's head has made them.  I don't know more.

All Alice and I remember is that we were sitting with Tara, and Alison was in the other room, talking to King, in this old warehouse we were squatting in.  Then I heard Alison call out something, and then I heard a loud BANG, and then Alice woke up alone in the warehouse a few days later and I woke up in a fucking cornfield months later.

Ten remembers coming to look for us.  She also, seeing the transcript, can sort of recall seeing something but she doesn't remember what.  According to her, she was in the group to see if whatever the fuck Alison knew could be used as a weapon again the Major Arcana (fuck now I'm consistently calling them that).  Knight was there to help his brother, and from talking with King, he was there mostly because Knight was making him.  Ten says she doesn't know any of the specifics on what was in King's head, only that Knight occasionally let slip that it wasn't...a stable entity.  Like maybe it was broken or something?  If the Major Arcana can even break--though I guess the Chariot (Dying Man.  Why do I keep using her terms?) is proof that they might not be immutable.

It's Ace that makes me nervous right now, though.  Not even Ten knew what his deal was, exactly, or how he had that paramilitary group under his command.  She's not even sure his soldiers knew--different squads had different fucking stories about why they were where they were and doing what they were.

Who he is doesn't make me nearly as nervous as the other question:  where the fuck is he now, and what is he doing with all those soldiers?

For that matter, what happened to the, like, fucking dozen of soldiers that tried to capture us?  Are they turning up at random around the country too?  Or around the world?  What if Tara fucking shows up in the middle of fucking North Korea?  What is Alison appears in the fucking jungle?

I really need to find them soon.  I hope whoever posted that fucking clue is Alison or Tara.  But if they are...why haven't they contacted us?

Sunday, July 1, 2012

i learned to bribe, i learned to say please

Oh my god you guys.


Jeanette just punched Ten in the snout to establish superiority.


It was seriously incredible.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Touching Base

I have no fucking clue what the hell what happened.  I woke up in a fucking corn field with a fucking death grip on the laptop.  Not covered in blood like Ten.  Fuck, I just fucking know she's going to try to punch me. when she sees me.

I don't know what happened to the others.  But you'd better fucking know by now that I will find them.  And I will fucking save them.

Need to get on a train.  Need to get my gun and knife back.

Need to see Alice again.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

What the Fuck

Where the fuck am I?

Why is it June?

Why has Alice been posting on here looking for me?

And yes, this is fucking Jeanette.

Friday, June 1, 2012

jeremy's spoken

Status update:


Current status:


We've found jack all.


Ten can't even get a hold of Ace.  Or any of his weird paramilitary friends.


Gah.


I'll let you know when we find anything.  It's  hard enough not killing each other right now.  We're not exactly friendly.  I'm not sure she wouldn't seriously hurt the people I'm looking for.


There has to be something out there.  Somewhere.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

and i am cool, cool as the deep blue ocean

Ten punched me in the fucking face today.


I think she's back to normal.


She wanted to know where the fuck she was and who I was.  I told her that I was Chelsea.


She's a bit calmer now, but she wants answers.  I don't think she believes me when I tell her I don't have them.  It seems like she doesn't remember anything from the point she vanished.  She doesn't even remember what did it.


Only that she was terrified.


Still.  It's a start.


I know who she is, too.  Her username used to be SephysWife.  She's one of the group who thought this up.  Apparently some bad shit went down with her family, courtesy of our favorite smiling gentleman.


We're not sure what to do.  We're going to lie low.  Look for clues and try to stay out of the sight of...whatever the fuck.  You know, boring stuff like that.


But....if I can find Ten...maybe I can find Jeanette too.  And Alison.  And Tara.


Maybe I can actually do this.


After all, I finally have help.

Monday, May 14, 2012

my head explodes and my body aches

I love  that song.


I think Ten said something today.  I didn't quite make it out, because I wasn't paying attention.


But it's a sign.  It's something.


I don't think we're being chased.  Well, I'm pretty sure we're being chased, but I haven't seen any sign of it.


Not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

short update

I'm on the East Coast now, with maybeTen.


Just as the Smiley killings stopped.


I have no clue what I should be doing and I'm getting really tired of saying that.


Ten's sort of stabilized.  But she's not getting any better.  I'm not an expert at this sort of thing.  I don't know who is.  I don't even know what happened to her.


I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen.  I need to take initiative but I don't know what that could be.


I'm just getting tired, you know?

Friday, April 27, 2012

but if you try some time, you just might find

You know how they say you can't break an omelet without breaking a few eggs?


Well, sometimes you can't abduct a catatonic girl without setting fire to a women's shelter?


Oh god I'm going to hell for that.


It wasn't a serious fire.  But it was a grease fire.  So I guess it was kind of serious but I mean no one was hurt.


Except the shelter.  I mean, the kitchen was pretty damaged, but it's still standing and all.


Don't you judge me.


I grabbed Ten and ran when I had the chance.


And guess what?  Guess fucking what?


Those things?  With dead eyes that used to be men?


Yeah.  Two of them decided to attack at that point.  So I ran and let the cops handle them.


God damnit.  I am so going to hell.


But I have maybeTen.


She's still not responding, but she'll eat when food is put in front of her.  I still have to clean her and stuff, which I sort of got used to helping Alison, so there's that.


No clue what to do from here.  But it's a start.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK


WHY DID I DO THAT


HAVE TEN


NEED TO RUN


FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ALISON WOULD FUCKING KILL ME IF SHE WAS STILL AROUND SHIT

Friday, April 20, 2012

it's just a kiss away

So, I'm in the shelter.


I don't have access to maybeTen.  She's still being watched by cops.  I'm not sure how I'm going to get to her.


It gets worse, too.  Eventually, cops are going to want to talk to me.  See, I kinda told the people here that I came from an abusive relationship?  I've said I'm not comfortable talking about it yet but I have to say something eventually, and my meal ticket isn't going to last forever.


I don't have much time.  Eventually those things with dead eyes that used to be men might come back.  They want maybeTen.  I don't know why.  I don't know where she was, or how she got out.


Then there's Smiley out there.  I need to at least try to stop him.  I owe it to them to at least try.


Should I call it "him"?  Jeanette went out of her way not to.  Alison never even referred to it by name, just by arcana.


I wish I knew what to do.  I'm not the smart one.  They were all so much smarter than me.  Especially Jeanette...she was so much smarter than she thought she was.  I think she was the smartest of us all.


Not me, though.  I'm the dumb one.


I need a plan.


Where's all that crazy bravado I had when I was posting that random  shit?  Gone now that little Alice needs to actually get her hands dirty.


More when I find out what to do.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

and you wanted to dance, so i asked you to dance, but fear was in your soul

I haven't figured out a way to gain access to maybeTen yet.  There are even more cops there now.


Tara or Penny would have had an idea.


I'm the dumb one.  Whenever they had meetings I'd just sort of listen and make jokes.  And now I'm the one who has to pick up the pieces.


If I was smarter, maybe I'd know what was going on.  I'd know what was in King's head.


The only thing I can think of is...maybe they weren't trapped?


I don't know where to go from there.  I don't have people to talk to about this.


I always thought I was taking care of Penny/Alison, after she lost her eyes.  Yeah, she's older, but she  needed help.  I never stopped to think that maybe she was looking after me.  That maybe she was the reason I survived all this as long as I did.


I miss her.  Mom and Dad liked to pretend she didn't exist, but I never did.


I wish I could find her.


Maybe getting to Ten will give me some answers.


More later after I do some brainstorming.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

what's goin' on

They found a Jane Doe on the Ferris Wheel, like, the day after I got that message.  Hasn't really spoken, as far as I know.  She's in a women's shelter, but the police are keeping a pretty good watch on her.  I think this has something to do with the fact she was found covered in blood.  But this is just guesswork on my part.


I was just scoping it out, minding my own business, when this guy...thing is probably more accurate, thing with dead eyes that used to be a man, attacked me.  I managed to fend him off.  With bullets.  About six of them.


And then the cops were like, 'that smokin' hot girl in a hoodie just up and shot a guy.  we should do something about that' and started chasing me.  I only got away when the thing with dead eyes that used to be a man got right back the fuck up and tried to break into the shelter.


You know, I cursed the left handed revolver, but honestly it really saved my ass, because if I'd managed to reload it in time I might've done something really fucking stupid like shoot at the cops.


Anyway, I think they managed to down the thing with dead eyes that used to be a man.  Eventually.  I wasn't there, though.  Need to find another way to get to the Jane Doe.


The worst part is, I'm even sure who it is.  She's Hispanic, or possibly  some kind of Asian, or maybe mixed race, I didn't get a  good look--but all of us are/were white bitches.


I think I know who it might be, though.


I think she might be Ten.

Monday, April 16, 2012

FUCKING SOUTHPAWS

FUCKING LEFT HANDED REVOLVERS


FUCKING COPS


FUCKING CHICAGO


SHE BETTER APPRECIATE ALL THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT I'M GOING THROUGH


GODDAMN IT IT'S NOT EVEN TARA


WHY AM I DOING THIS?


FUCKING SINISTER GODDAMN ASSHOLES

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

i see a red door

So I'm on my way to Chicago.


I don't know why I'm doing this.


I should be hiding in the bushes outside an all-girls school in New England, like my teenage aspirations, only a lot more  morbid.  Instead, I'm going to one of the largest cities in the country on the hunch that there'll be something waiting for me in or around the Ferris Wheel on Navy Pier.


I'm not sure what's there.  Or who wants me to go there.


Maybe it's that...thing that was in King's head, before...


I really need to explain that one day.  It's just hard to remember, honestly.  A lot of what happened, what brought us to this point, is absent from my mind.


Maybe there are some answers there.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

the fuck?

What the hell is this?  Sis?  Is that you?


Is it some sort of code?  I don't get it.  What're you trying to say?


I probably could research this or something, but I'm busy stalking Smiley.


If someone can tell me what the hell that post means, great.


...I hope it's Alison, anyway.  Or Jeanette.  Or even Tara.  I miss them.


Why not just come out and say something, though?  Why obscure it in some dumb word puzzle thing?  There's something off about this.  Something I'm not seeing.


It's probably not too hard to crack but I really don't have time for now.  Only weapons I have are Jeanette's--the knife and the revolver, and I'm terrible with both.  She was showing me how to use the knife when well you know.  Gone.


Have to go.  I can still get some searching done before it gets too late.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

I Think She'll Know

I still can't find her, and neither can I.  I'm still looking, though.


I love her.  I hope, through the weird teasing and stuff I did on these blogs, you people know that.  I love Jeanette.


I love Alison and Tara to, but, like, family, you know?  I wanted to be with Jeanette.  Wanted to be hers.


It...it's come for me, again.  It's sending more people...more things after me.  I don't know what I should do.  I don't know what I can do.  There used to be no blood on my hands.  I was the innocent one.  I talked a  big game of not being innocent, but I was.  The way it mattered.


Some would say it doesn't matter if a proxy dies, but I don't know.  I don't know how this thing is using them.  Maybe it's forcing them.  Maybe they don't get a say.


I don't know what it is.  What it looks like, how it acts.  Why it doesn't just come and take me like it did the others.  Maybe it's better I don't know.  Maybe that's what keeps me safe.


Anyway, I'm on the road.


There's a place on the East Coast that girls and boys have started getting flowers at.  And then...do I really need to explain the rest, at this point?  I'm headed there.


Jeanette and Alison aren't here.  Not even Tara.


If no one else is gonna hunt Ol' Smiley, guess it's gotta be me.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Less BS

My name is Alice Mason.  You might also know me as Chelsea Balisong.


I am all that's left.  I don't know what happened to anyone else.


All I know is that that stupid fucking boy shot himself in the head.  Or something.  I'm pretty sure he's dead.


Regardless, something came out of him.


And then everything went black, and when I came to, I was alone, in our hideout, with a tape that had that initial transcript on it.


People have come after me since.  I've been killing them.  I think they're proxies but, in my state, they could be police or girl scouts for all I know.


I haven't been able to find anyone.  There's been no fucking sign.  I'm alone, and there's something else out there now.  I think it's hunting me.  I think it has them.  Or maybe Smiley does.  Or one of the other couple dozen collect-em-all monsters of the week that are out there, somewhere.  I've honestly lost track on how boned we all are.  With so many monsters, you'd think someone would notice all the bodies, or people disappearing, or some fucking thing.


It's amazing Cracked.com doesn't have a list, top five people mysteriously killed by mysterious evil.

Friday, March 9, 2012

hydra

I still have trouble figuring out how it came to all of this.


Everything was going so well.


And now, we're all fucked.


Everything's gone wrong.


We lost.


Game over, man.  Game over.


I don't know where anyone is.  I'm all alone now, and I'm lost.


I miss them.  I wish they'd come back.  I wish I could find them.


But I can't.  They're gone.


They're not here, and I am alone.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

janus

Unknown Male 1: Okay, open and clear!
Unknown Male 1: No contacts, sir.

Unknown Male 1: Sir!








Unknown Female 1: Sir? I think I found someone. Female.

Unknown Female 1: Ma’am?

Unknown Female 1: Would you like me to check, ma’am?








Unknown Female 1: No, ma’am. Just unconscious. I’ve tried to wake her, but...
Unknown Male 1: We have contact again, sir.

Unknown Male 1: There are two of them, ma’am.

Unknown Male 2: What are we supposed to do, open their fucking eyelids?


Unknown Male 1: One of them has an eyepatch, sir.

Unknown Male 1: Dark hair--

Unknown Male 1: Let me get a light on--

Unknown Male 2: What...what is that...


Unknown Female 1: Oh...oh god...I...I thought....






Unknown Male 3: Sir? Ma’am? We’ve lost contact. With...with everyone. Can you advise?
Unknown Male 3: Sir, please advise.
Unknown Male 3: Fuck this. We’re initiating evac. I want everyone out of this shithole ten seconds ago.
Unknown Female 2: Sir!
Unknown Male 3: Wait, hold on. Isn’t that...
Unknown Female 2: What...what happened to him?
Unknown Male 3: I’m not sticking--

And the rest is silence.

And in case you didn't realize it, I am not Jeanette.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

steal flamingos and gnomes

from the dark side of the lawn

and we give them good homes

this is not an important post

q k4 > q qn2 > q qb

But chess code aside, I've found some....weird fucking things.

For one? I have no fucking clue when Smiley was locked away.

Seriously. Now that I'm actually looking for it? I can't find a single fucking place where its spree was interrupted. It wasn't as active as it is now...maybe it's stretching its fucking murder muscles, no fucking idea...but yeah. When did it get locked up? How or why?

Not finding a whole lotta first-hand accounts, but the signs are there if you know where to look--and trust me, by now, I better fucking know where to look.

Maybe it takes its vacation in teenagers' heads? Fucked if I know. I'll keep looking.

Meanwhile, the terrible fucking plan? It's actually working.

I know, I'm fucking shocked too.

But the way I see it, mission fucking accomplished in just a couple days.

Sunday, January 1, 2012