The Things With Dead Eyes That Used To Be Men

Fuck.

Don't even know where to fucking begin here.  This is some fucked up shit.  Maybe this sort of thing is like, fucking preschool stuff to some of you out there, but I've only been really dealing with Smiley, never many of the others, not fucking directly.

I didn't really believe Alice at first, because it sounded like a pretty tall fucking tale, but Ten corroborates, and I've fucking seen them with my own fucking eyes, so listen up.  And if any of this sounds familiar with anyone, let me know.  I'd like to know what I'm fucking dealing with.  And what the fuck it did with Tara and Alison.

I'd just met up with Ten and Alice.  It was a bit after I punched Ten in the face on principle.  We were out looking for somewhere to get food and maybe get some ice for Ten's face.

Alice was the first one to see it, maybe because she's been the one to see them more.  Still feel pretty fucking careless not spotting it first, though.  Fucking monocular vision.  She saw someone being dragged into an alley.    Ten didn't want to get involved but, fuck it, what's the point of being a goth cowboy if you don't go fucking vigilante once in a fucking while?

She told me to be careful, but I told her I knew what I was doing.  Then I looked down the alley and realized no, I really fucking didn't.

I'm going to say here that it was like a zombie, and I know the first fucking thing that will come to your mind is a Romero zombie.  This wasn't like that.  They're more like voodoo zombies.  They're living and mindless and focused on the task in front of them. This one grabbed a guy and was dragging him, hand over his mouth, somewhere down the alley.

Another thing?  It looked like it was...absorbing the color around it, I guess you could say.  It was all grey and washed out, and I could see that in some places, the guy it was holding was like that too.  Like if Rainbow Brite had a fucking voodoo priest in her Rogues Gallery or something.

I don't know what it was going to do next.  I didn't give it fucking time.  I sprinted up to the fucker with my knife out--to big major a street to risk the Anaconda--and jabbed it right in the bastard's throat.  Grey blood gushed from it, but it kept hauling the guy back.  Like I'd just barely fucking tapped it.

I still didn't want to use the Colt, so I grabbed a loose brick from the alley floor and smashed it down on the zombie...thing's head.  I did that a couple of times, enough that I saw its skull cave in.  It just fucking let me hit it, too.  Didn't even pause dragging the guy back.

I was about to just shoot the fucker when it slowed and stopped, and then loosened its grip and fell back.  The guy it had scurried away as fast as he could and took off screaming.  Ten, Alice, and I had to get away fast, so we couldn't investigate the body.

What we think happened is, it doesn't need the brain to work.  It's programmed, like a fucking computer.  Only thing that killed it in the end was blood loss, because it just really fucking needs the limbs and lungs to work, and it took way too much of that before it started fucking slowing.

My suggestion?  You see these things, go for the heart.  Stop the blood flow altogether.  If I'm right that'll fucking down them faster than anything.

Wish I knew what the fuck they were, or where the fuck they came from.  Best guess?  Whatever the fuck was in King's head has made them.  I don't know more.

All Alice and I remember is that we were sitting with Tara, and Alison was in the other room, talking to King, in this old warehouse we were squatting in.  Then I heard Alison call out something, and then I heard a loud BANG, and then Alice woke up alone in the warehouse a few days later and I woke up in a fucking cornfield months later.

Ten remembers coming to look for us.  She also, seeing the transcript, can sort of recall seeing something but she doesn't remember what.  According to her, she was in the group to see if whatever the fuck Alison knew could be used as a weapon again the Major Arcana (fuck now I'm consistently calling them that).  Knight was there to help his brother, and from talking with King, he was there mostly because Knight was making him.  Ten says she doesn't know any of the specifics on what was in King's head, only that Knight occasionally let slip that it wasn't...a stable entity.  Like maybe it was broken or something?  If the Major Arcana can even break--though I guess the Chariot (Dying Man.  Why do I keep using her terms?) is proof that they might not be immutable.

It's Ace that makes me nervous right now, though.  Not even Ten knew what his deal was, exactly, or how he had that paramilitary group under his command.  She's not even sure his soldiers knew--different squads had different fucking stories about why they were where they were and doing what they were.

Who he is doesn't make me nearly as nervous as the other question:  where the fuck is he now, and what is he doing with all those soldiers?

For that matter, what happened to the, like, fucking dozen of soldiers that tried to capture us?  Are they turning up at random around the country too?  Or around the world?  What if Tara fucking shows up in the middle of fucking North Korea?  What is Alison appears in the fucking jungle?

I really need to find them soon.  I hope whoever posted that fucking clue is Alison or Tara.  But if they are...why haven't they contacted us?

NOW addendum

I could post more self-indulgent, inspirational bits about how fucking badass I am, but honestly I'm tired of writing about monsters. I mean, I deal with monsters all the time. Honestly right now I just want to write something else and get my mind off my uterus for a while. Yeah, TMI, deal with it.

Also, I haven't really been feeling well lately, mentally, and, well, talking about music seems to work for other people in similar situations.

I don't think I like Who Killed Amanda (Fucking) Palmer as much as I like her Dresden Dolls stuff. I mean, it's alright, some of the songs are pretty catchy, but her group stuff is so much better.

I dunno, maybe it's too over-produced? I mean, it's not bad, but I'm not sure there's anything on the album quite as good as Gravity or Delilah. Maybe I'm just nit-picking, or maybe I just automatically recoil when I read or hear the name Ben Folds like a vampire recoils from a cross.

Oasis is pretty fun, though. I really like lyrical dissonance.

Part of it is, I think, that I really liked the earlier stuff, which is weird because before Punk Cabaret I mostly listened to stuff my dad liked-- the Stones, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Queen, Van Halen (Between this and taking me hunting, can you tell he really, really wanted a son, yet?). But when Tara introduced me to the music of Amanda (Fucking) Palmer and Brian Viglione, I found myself, kind of against my will, loving it. And WKA(F)P is different. That's part of the point, though. A lot of it is stuff she didn't want to release on a Dresden Dolls album because she didn't think it would fit. And I'm glad she released it here rather than on a Dresden Dolls album.

Also, I miss Brian Viglione. His drumming is fucking amazing, especially if you've seen it done live. I mean, even though I'm not really into this whole 'sex' thing, I would fuck Brian Viglione in a heartbeat. I don't think I'm even attracted to him, personally. I think it's some weird fucking primal thing about those drums.

Speaking of Dresden Dolls, I kinda wonder if the Orange Man from Slide is another "Fear", or if he's just one of the thousand references to getting molested Amanda (Fucking) Palmer puts in her songs. I mean, just from a little research I'm finding a lot of them labeled the ____ Man. Hell, the...whatever the fuck it is I'm chasing, Mr. Smiles (I've decided not to give it the dignity of the longer version of its name), was originally named the Smiling Man by its originators. They're like anti-super heroes. Invulnerable, unbeatable, and undeniably evil. Sweet dreams!

Anyway, back on topic and away from the depressing one, my favorite part of Who Killed Amanda (Fucking) Palmer is the end of the thing Gaiman wrote on the back of it. (which is a weird thing to be my favorite but I digress) "If you see Amanda (Fucking) Palmer on the street, kill her. That way she'll live forever."

Fuck, if you see Jeanette (Motherfucking) Cotton on the street, give her a sandwich and some fucking ammunition, that way she'll live a few more weeks.