My Girlfriends Are Crazy

So, first of all, we're not dead.

We needed to do some relocation.  We're still recovering from Operation Summerborn, if you can fucking believe that.

Here's the short version of Summerborn:  We had inside men and women in Ace's organization.  They helped us get Knight of Coins--that's Leo, by the way--out of Ace's hands.  We wanted to keep them in, so we weren't saying much about it, but, surprise fucking surprise, Ace managed to sniff them out.  We had to free them.  One of them didn't make it.  I'm sure they fucking fed her to that fucking pet monster of theirs.

We're trying not to think about that.  But we, I mean me, because it's hit Tara, Ginger (Ten), and Leo pretty fucking hard and it's hard for them not to think about it.  Tara and Ginger were the ones that came up with the plan, and Ginger and Leo knew our insiders pretty well.

Right now, we're consolidating our resources, regrouping, and trying to stop Smiley from filleting a preteen boy.  So far, we have jack all resources, only a bare minimum of people--if fucking that, and we've narrowed Smiley's location down to one of half a dozen fucking places in this confusing fucking city, and the boy'll probably be dead in less than a week unless we hurry and tag it.

Also, in other news?  The girls I'm dating are really fucking crazy.

I woke up last night with Chelsea's hand on my stomach.  I asked her what the fuck she was doing and she said, "Shhh, I'm getting you pregnant."

Then, out of nowhere--because she wasn't there when we went to bed--Penny comes up and puts her hand on my stomach and says.  "I'm aborting your baby."

Then Chelsea said, "That's awful!  Keep your hand there.  I want to see which one of us wins."

Some nights I almost wish I'd stayed celibate.

bend me break me anyway you need me

We meet up with Jeanette and Alison tomorrow.


I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I see them.  I've been talking with Tara about it a lot.  And sometimes I ask Ten for her opinion, which annoys her, so I do that some more, because I have to get the younger sibling instinct satisfied somehow.


I've missed them.  I love them both (not in the same way obviously).  I want them both to be happy...and I'm not sure which of us would make Jeanette happier.  And I'm not sure Penny wants to be happy.  And a jealous part of me doesn't care if Penny is happy or not.  Jeanette's the only person I've been with that...that gets me, you know?   And she's so cool.  And amazing. And really, really hot.


And now she has both crazy Balisong sisters nipping at her...I was going to say "skirts" but I don't think I've ever seen Jeanette wearing something that isn't a pair of black jeans.


I guess the mature thing to do would be to talk to them about this rather than venting to the public, but eh, that takes too much work, emotionally.


I guess I just don't know where it goes from here, you know?  Penny's being all Doomsayer on us...and she's probably right.  I just...what do you do with the knowledge that one or more of your friends is absolutely going to die?  Especially since...the way Penny's been talking...I'm pretty sure at least one of them will be one of the two two people I care about most in the world.


And then she drops the "I love you" bomb.


What do people do in this situation?  I try to think of  something, but I keep getting sad and frustrated.


Maybe there isn't something for me to do.  But I can't think like that.  Maybe Jeanette and Penny can, but I...


There has to be something I can do.


-Alice

The Things With Dead Eyes That Used To Be Men

Fuck.

Don't even know where to fucking begin here.  This is some fucked up shit.  Maybe this sort of thing is like, fucking preschool stuff to some of you out there, but I've only been really dealing with Smiley, never many of the others, not fucking directly.

I didn't really believe Alice at first, because it sounded like a pretty tall fucking tale, but Ten corroborates, and I've fucking seen them with my own fucking eyes, so listen up.  And if any of this sounds familiar with anyone, let me know.  I'd like to know what I'm fucking dealing with.  And what the fuck it did with Tara and Alison.

I'd just met up with Ten and Alice.  It was a bit after I punched Ten in the face on principle.  We were out looking for somewhere to get food and maybe get some ice for Ten's face.

Alice was the first one to see it, maybe because she's been the one to see them more.  Still feel pretty fucking careless not spotting it first, though.  Fucking monocular vision.  She saw someone being dragged into an alley.    Ten didn't want to get involved but, fuck it, what's the point of being a goth cowboy if you don't go fucking vigilante once in a fucking while?

She told me to be careful, but I told her I knew what I was doing.  Then I looked down the alley and realized no, I really fucking didn't.

I'm going to say here that it was like a zombie, and I know the first fucking thing that will come to your mind is a Romero zombie.  This wasn't like that.  They're more like voodoo zombies.  They're living and mindless and focused on the task in front of them. This one grabbed a guy and was dragging him, hand over his mouth, somewhere down the alley.

Another thing?  It looked like it was...absorbing the color around it, I guess you could say.  It was all grey and washed out, and I could see that in some places, the guy it was holding was like that too.  Like if Rainbow Brite had a fucking voodoo priest in her Rogues Gallery or something.

I don't know what it was going to do next.  I didn't give it fucking time.  I sprinted up to the fucker with my knife out--to big major a street to risk the Anaconda--and jabbed it right in the bastard's throat.  Grey blood gushed from it, but it kept hauling the guy back.  Like I'd just barely fucking tapped it.

I still didn't want to use the Colt, so I grabbed a loose brick from the alley floor and smashed it down on the zombie...thing's head.  I did that a couple of times, enough that I saw its skull cave in.  It just fucking let me hit it, too.  Didn't even pause dragging the guy back.

I was about to just shoot the fucker when it slowed and stopped, and then loosened its grip and fell back.  The guy it had scurried away as fast as he could and took off screaming.  Ten, Alice, and I had to get away fast, so we couldn't investigate the body.

What we think happened is, it doesn't need the brain to work.  It's programmed, like a fucking computer.  Only thing that killed it in the end was blood loss, because it just really fucking needs the limbs and lungs to work, and it took way too much of that before it started fucking slowing.

My suggestion?  You see these things, go for the heart.  Stop the blood flow altogether.  If I'm right that'll fucking down them faster than anything.

Wish I knew what the fuck they were, or where the fuck they came from.  Best guess?  Whatever the fuck was in King's head has made them.  I don't know more.

All Alice and I remember is that we were sitting with Tara, and Alison was in the other room, talking to King, in this old warehouse we were squatting in.  Then I heard Alison call out something, and then I heard a loud BANG, and then Alice woke up alone in the warehouse a few days later and I woke up in a fucking cornfield months later.

Ten remembers coming to look for us.  She also, seeing the transcript, can sort of recall seeing something but she doesn't remember what.  According to her, she was in the group to see if whatever the fuck Alison knew could be used as a weapon again the Major Arcana (fuck now I'm consistently calling them that).  Knight was there to help his brother, and from talking with King, he was there mostly because Knight was making him.  Ten says she doesn't know any of the specifics on what was in King's head, only that Knight occasionally let slip that it wasn't...a stable entity.  Like maybe it was broken or something?  If the Major Arcana can even break--though I guess the Chariot (Dying Man.  Why do I keep using her terms?) is proof that they might not be immutable.

It's Ace that makes me nervous right now, though.  Not even Ten knew what his deal was, exactly, or how he had that paramilitary group under his command.  She's not even sure his soldiers knew--different squads had different fucking stories about why they were where they were and doing what they were.

Who he is doesn't make me nearly as nervous as the other question:  where the fuck is he now, and what is he doing with all those soldiers?

For that matter, what happened to the, like, fucking dozen of soldiers that tried to capture us?  Are they turning up at random around the country too?  Or around the world?  What if Tara fucking shows up in the middle of fucking North Korea?  What is Alison appears in the fucking jungle?

I really need to find them soon.  I hope whoever posted that fucking clue is Alison or Tara.  But if they are...why haven't they contacted us?

jeremy's spoken

Status update:


Current status:


We've found jack all.


Ten can't even get a hold of Ace.  Or any of his weird paramilitary friends.


Gah.


I'll let you know when we find anything.  It's  hard enough not killing each other right now.  We're not exactly friendly.  I'm not sure she wouldn't seriously hurt the people I'm looking for.


There has to be something out there.  Somewhere.

and i am cool, cool as the deep blue ocean

Ten punched me in the fucking face today.


I think she's back to normal.


She wanted to know where the fuck she was and who I was.  I told her that I was Chelsea.


She's a bit calmer now, but she wants answers.  I don't think she believes me when I tell her I don't have them.  It seems like she doesn't remember anything from the point she vanished.  She doesn't even remember what did it.


Only that she was terrified.


Still.  It's a start.


I know who she is, too.  Her username used to be SephysWife.  She's one of the group who thought this up.  Apparently some bad shit went down with her family, courtesy of our favorite smiling gentleman.


We're not sure what to do.  We're going to lie low.  Look for clues and try to stay out of the sight of...whatever the fuck.  You know, boring stuff like that.


But....if I can find Ten...maybe I can find Jeanette too.  And Alison.  And Tara.


Maybe I can actually do this.


After all, I finally have help.

my head explodes and my body aches

I love  that song.


I think Ten said something today.  I didn't quite make it out, because I wasn't paying attention.


But it's a sign.  It's something.


I don't think we're being chased.  Well, I'm pretty sure we're being chased, but I haven't seen any sign of it.


Not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.

short update

I'm on the East Coast now, with maybeTen.


Just as the Smiley killings stopped.


I have no clue what I should be doing and I'm getting really tired of saying that.


Ten's sort of stabilized.  But she's not getting any better.  I'm not an expert at this sort of thing.  I don't know who is.  I don't even know what happened to her.


I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen.  I need to take initiative but I don't know what that could be.


I'm just getting tired, you know?

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK


WHY DID I DO THAT


HAVE TEN


NEED TO RUN


FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ALISON WOULD FUCKING KILL ME IF SHE WAS STILL AROUND SHIT

it's just a kiss away

So, I'm in the shelter.


I don't have access to maybeTen.  She's still being watched by cops.  I'm not sure how I'm going to get to her.


It gets worse, too.  Eventually, cops are going to want to talk to me.  See, I kinda told the people here that I came from an abusive relationship?  I've said I'm not comfortable talking about it yet but I have to say something eventually, and my meal ticket isn't going to last forever.


I don't have much time.  Eventually those things with dead eyes that used to be men might come back.  They want maybeTen.  I don't know why.  I don't know where she was, or how she got out.


Then there's Smiley out there.  I need to at least try to stop him.  I owe it to them to at least try.


Should I call it "him"?  Jeanette went out of her way not to.  Alison never even referred to it by name, just by arcana.


I wish I knew what to do.  I'm not the smart one.  They were all so much smarter than me.  Especially Jeanette...she was so much smarter than she thought she was.  I think she was the smartest of us all.


Not me, though.  I'm the dumb one.


I need a plan.


Where's all that crazy bravado I had when I was posting that random  shit?  Gone now that little Alice needs to actually get her hands dirty.


More when I find out what to do.

Nope

Not talking about the psychos in this post. Not going to do it. Too much else is fucking going on. Besides, we're going to buy alcohol soon so I don't have all that much time.

For one, I guess Hunter was alive and then died again? Fuck. I'll need to get some for him, too. Hope you found some resolution, man. Or at least killed what you meant to kill.

Not focusing on that, though.

Mostly today I'll be talking about my relationship.

Basically, I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. Every once in a while Alice is all "Let's cuddle now!" and I say, "I'm busy." and then she does it anyway.

How does this work? I guess it's alright but I'm fucking lost as hell.

The others are no fucking help, either. Penny mimes vomiting whenever the subject's brought up and Tara just stands there like a fucking idiot, calling us a "cute couple". What the fuck does that even fucking mean?

Fuck, it doesn't even matter. This is just getting me confused and frustrated so I guess I'll talk about the guys who shot at us anyway.

Penny and Tara think at least one of them was from their little message board group? I don't even fucking know. They only talk to each other about it. Way to keep secrets from the one who, you know can fucking protect you better than anyone else around fucking here.

And this business about Smiley being locked in Penny's head? Fuck if I know what that's all about. She posted it without talking to any of us about. Not even fucking Alice, and then, of course, she doesn't talk to anyone about it afterwards either.

Just fucking fantastic.

...I guess there is something else. Always is, right?

Ten of Wands sent me a message.

"This is all your fault.

I hope I'm the one who gets to kill you."

This was so much easier when it was just me, alone, hunting Smiley. Sure, it sucked, but there weren't fucking factions, there weren't people with me I had to fucking protect. Just me and it.

Speaking of the devil (not The Devil, that's something different. Thanks for giving everything a confusing second name, Penny!), it's been hitting a few places pretty hard lately.

I know what happens if we don't save them, but right now....ug, they're probably waiting for us at at least one of the places. We need to find it but we also need to not get fucking shot.

I seriously cannot fucking get that alcohol fast e-fucking-nough.