Of course we can't find the Smiling Man.
Of course bouquets keep fucking coming.
He doesn't want us to find Him. So we won't.
God fucking damnit.
I feel like I'm not actually fucking doing anything. Like I'm just moving from place to place because it's His will, stopping Him because He thinks it's funny.
Maybe Butterfly Knife Girl is right. Maybe I'm just a piece on the board, guided by some other fucking hand. Maybe I don't have any free will.
Maybe you just can't fucking fight fate.