Sunday, September 4, 2011


Okay so this is the thing that Jack of Crazy sent me back when I was still a high school student trying to find a way to kill Smiley. You know, before I became a high school dropout trying to kill Smiley.

There's not a whole lot of context. It just kind of starts.

Anyway, here it is--

JackThorn has entered the Chatroom
PerilousFool: But I'm looking forward to the next one, if it ever comes out.
PerilousFool: Oh, hey Jack.
yournightmare: yo jack wassup?
JackThorn: Its happening.
SephysWife: Is it vague warning thursday already?
yournightmare: lol
JackThorn: Im staring at a bouquet.
WTRainbow: congratulations, you have some flowers
JackThorn: It worked.
SephysWife: What are you talking about?
JackThorn: It was in my daughter's locker. She got to school and there was a bouquet.
yournightmare: lol, stop fukcing with us jack
SephysWife: Yeah, really bad taste.
JackThorn: Whens the last time you saw Cari? Or Jackie? Or Steve? Or Dom?
SephysWife: People leave randomly all the time online. It's a hazard of knowing people on the internet. That doesn't mean we invented a supernatural serial killer.
yournightmare: dude r u serious?
WTRainbow: you believe him, craig?
yournightmare: u cant tell me u werent thinkin this 2
SephysWife: Jack, I think you're getting a little worked up. There's nothing going on.
WTRainbow: i wasn't, because i have half a brain.
yournightmare: fuck you man im not goin 2 just turn my back on jack hes always been there 4 us
JackThorn: We are all doomed. Its going to come after us first. Like it did Cari and Jackie and Dom.
SephysWife: Stop it, Jack. It's not funny.
yournightmare: maybe we can stop it?
PerilousFool: It doesn't have a weakness. We never gave it one.
WTRainbow: ****, seriously?
SephysWife: Don't encourage him, ****. You're better than this.
SephysWife: The Smiling Man is not real. The Slender Man is not real. You can't just make up a monster and have it exist. The world does not work that way.
SephysWife: When the rest of you have grown up, let me know.
SephysWife: Bye.

SephysWife has left the chatroom.

yournightmare: you leavin' 2 will?
WTRainbow: not yet.
WTRainbow: don't get me wrong, i don't believe in any of this.
WTRainbow: but i miss cari. i thought we had something, you know?
WTRainbow: and if someone really did put a bouquet in your kid's locker then maybe one of the missing guys is playing a trick on you.
WTRainbow: dom was always kind of a jerk.
JackThorn: Theres nothing we can do.
JackThorn: The Smiling Man has come to life.
JackThorn: God help us all.

Back to modern day Jeanette again. This is where the file cuts to a completely different block. I think it's an email that Jack got. I'm not sure about the timing. I'll comment on the whole thing after.

Oh, by the way? No response from any of these screen names. At least, not the right response. Sometimes I get false positives, but none of them are the right person.


Dear Jack

You fucking moron.

Did you think you actually made anything? That you and your social reject friends actually created Him?

He's been here forever. Looking for a way in. And you gave it to Him and now He's loose.

"God help you." What a loser.

Though it makes sense that you'd be looking for a divine figure to help you.

After all, you just gave one a body.

This is the last time we're going to talk. He's going to show you what He showed me.

I don't think you'll do nearly as well as I have, though.

Yours Truly

The Queen of Cups

ps. You'd better show this to Jeanette. Some day me and her are going to have a friendly chat. Royals should be well acquainted with each other, after all.

pps. Hey Jeanette. How's your eye? Oh, that's right. Silly me.


Okay, a few things here. This is Jeanette here. One, I'm pretty sure some pretty hefty editing was done to the letter and the chatlog. I'm not sure why.

Two. This was sent to me two weeks before I had my Significant Peripheral Vision Downgrade. If I had been updating this in real time, I'm sure you reading this would have seen this as foreshadowing or something, but, no, I spoiled my lost eye weeks ago. I'd be sympathetic, but I'm still the one with only one fucking eye, so I'm not, really.

Three, I still haven't met this bitch, but I've seen...things. I'm not sure how to describe them. It's all been pretty innocuous, but...

Okay, remember way back when I started this whole blog? You know, in real time, before Smiley showed up? And I talked about having weird dreams?

I never mentioned what was in them because it wasn't important. None of it had anything to do with anything, including Smiley. I've read about people in the Slender Man stories all dreaming about trees and bags and evil shit like that. My dreams were not like that.

Most of them were me somewhere, I don't know. Some sort of public building every time, never the same one. And in them, I'm just talking to someone. I don't remember what she looks like or sounds like, but I do remember she has the Most Punchable Face I've ever seen. Just this self-satisfied smug expression that you just want to smack right in the mouth and make her spit out those pearly white goddamn teeth. I never remember the conversation.

But those are my dreams. You see why I never brought them up. I mean, I never even hit Miss Punchable in them.

But I think she's the Queen of Cups.

I mean, just read what she wrote. Tell me you don't want to just punch her in the goddamn mouth.

I'm not sure what they are. Maybe it's the future. Maybe we're having dream conversations. All I know is they've been happening to me pretty much all my life.

Also, I'm pretty sure she's working for Mr. Smiles. Somehow.

..which means she's my nemesis. Great. Next time I need to make sure to dream punch her.

But, all that exposition aside....there's something else. I censored PerilousFool's name. Because I knew who she was and....I'll just explain it in the journal entry I wrote afterward:


I am such an idiot.

She was so quick to come up with the idea, that maybe smiley is like the slender man, wasn't she? Such a big leap of logic to make. Why didn't I realize this then?

Because I'm a fucking moron.

Why hasn't she told me? Why hasn't she said a goddamn thing!?

People have died! They've fucking died! Fuck, one of them fucking fell on me! I thought she was my best fucking friend but it turns out no, she doesn't fucking care enough to tell me that she was on of the ones who fucking made this fucking bastard in the first fucking place god fucking damn it why am I crying

I still can't stop it. I don't know where to begin.

And if I can't stop it now...if Tara's the reason it's here...

I only have a couple weeks before it takes her.

Heliotrope, Lavender, Celandine, Cypress, Larkspur.

Christ I don't even know what half of those are. But that's what Tara's bouquet was.

It's going to come for her, my best friend, my only friend, and one of its creators.

And I can't stop it.

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