Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Trespassing, Sleeping, and Other Things I Shouldn't Be Doing

I fucking hate sleep.

Mostly my dreams are just me and Miss Punchable, but sometimes there's a nice change of pace. Like meadows and unicorns and rifles and shit. Every night I go to sleep I hope for another occurrence of the Jeanette Cotton: Unicorn Hunter dream.

Last night was a change of pace, but not the nice kind. Stupid fucking nightmare.

Anyway, I broke into someone's house last night and used it to get some rest. I think they're on vacation, which is why I picked the place--the house had all the signs of dog ownership but not a mutt in sight. Guess I'm lucky it hadn't just died recently.

No idea how long they'll be gone, though. I shouldn't linger here too long but I just wanted to be under a roof for a while. Also, it's good to be somewhere with decent fucking toiletries for fucking once.

Oh hey, clothes my size, too. Oh. My. God.

Is that a fucking Stetson?

Hell yes it's a fucking Stetson, bitch.

It fits.

Fuck. Yes.

Our Protagonist, ladies and gentlemen: Breaking into people's fucking homes, taking a shower, and stealing their fucking accessories.

It's a tortured existence I lead.


  1. -shrug- How are people going to find this through you mentioning a couple on vacation? You're fine. Relax a little. Also, awesome find on the Stetson.

  2. Oh, I know. It even matches my eyepatch.

    Eyepatch of Power, Cool all I need is a matching Badass Longcoat. Sadly this house does not have one in my size.

    And yeah, you're right. I'm just a bit edgy when it comes to the cops. I think they think I had something to do with that one cop that got flayed. Well, I guess I did, in a way, but I was mostly just bearing witness. Then again, it's not like all police are some kinda all-knowing entity that'll instantly recognize me or something.

  3. Good point. Well, unless you're technically wanted. Then they can just fax your picture anywhere they want. Not every cop is going to know what you look like. XD