Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Trespassing, Sleeping, and Other Things I Shouldn't Be Doing

I fucking hate sleep.

Mostly my dreams are just me and Miss Punchable, but sometimes there's a nice change of pace. Like meadows and unicorns and rifles and shit. Every night I go to sleep I hope for another occurrence of the Jeanette Cotton: Unicorn Hunter dream.

Last night was a change of pace, but not the nice kind. Stupid fucking nightmare.

Anyway, I broke into someone's house last night and used it to get some rest. I think they're on vacation, which is why I picked the place--the house had all the signs of dog ownership but not a mutt in sight. Guess I'm lucky it hadn't just died recently.

No idea how long they'll be gone, though. I shouldn't linger here too long but I just wanted to be under a roof for a while. Also, it's good to be somewhere with decent fucking toiletries for fucking once.

Oh hey, clothes my size, too. Oh. My. God.

Is that a fucking Stetson?

Hell yes it's a fucking Stetson, bitch.

It fits.

Fuck. Yes.

Our Protagonist, ladies and gentlemen: Breaking into people's fucking homes, taking a shower, and stealing their fucking accessories.

It's a tortured existence I lead.

3 comments:

  1. -shrug- How are people going to find this through you mentioning a couple on vacation? You're fine. Relax a little. Also, awesome find on the Stetson.

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  2. Oh, I know. It even matches my eyepatch.

    Eyepatch of Power, Cool Hat...now all I need is a matching Badass Longcoat. Sadly this house does not have one in my size.

    And yeah, you're right. I'm just a bit edgy when it comes to the cops. I think they think I had something to do with that one cop that got flayed. Well, I guess I did, in a way, but I was mostly just bearing witness. Then again, it's not like all police are some kinda all-knowing entity that'll instantly recognize me or something.

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  3. Good point. Well, unless you're technically wanted. Then they can just fax your picture anywhere they want. Not every cop is going to know what you look like. XD

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