Friday, June 24, 2011



Do you know how much information there is on the Slender Man?! Jesus Fucking Christ!

And it's all contradictory! One site says the (X) repels him, the other says it empowers him! One site says he has no weaknesses, one site says he's too stupid to understand heights, one site says he can be repelled by fucking lasers. I'm not even fucking kidding, people. Fucking lasers. Jesus Christ. Hell, one site says he's a fallen god or a faerie or some shit, I don't even know. And maybe he has telekinesis?

Sometimes he's inscrutable, sometimes he has human minions, sometimes he has twitter fights, sometimes he authors blog posts and hangs out with confused teens, and sometimes he just wants twenty dollars. What. The. Hell. Sometimes he does things because he can, sometimes he's part of some huge and vague game with every other fucking boogeyman in the world. Sometimes he just disappears people, sometimes he leaves their insides out in big trashbags. Sometimes he has tentacles, sometimes he's a tree, sometimes he has a face but it's different depending on who looks, sometimes it's blank.

With all this stuff out there, how can someone know what's true and what isn't? How do you separate the wheat from the chaff?

God, I'm getting poetic again. I should take a fucking pill for that.

You know, maybe I should just try shooting Smiley. I mean, it worked so well the first couple of times I went after it with a gun, but maybe now's different.

Too bad I don't have a fucking laser.

Jesus Christ. I still cannot believe the fucking lasers.

Well, should get ready for Church. My guess is we'll be praying for the still-missing girls, like every church in town has been doing, every Sunday since this began.

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