Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I Am A Retard Sometimes


I am so fucking dumb. I'm EIGHTEEN. I can just leave the house and Mom and Dad can't fucking do jack.

So, I had an idea. Flowers always show up on Mondays. Always. I mean, more flowers show up on other days of the week, but every Monday there are flowers.

I'm going to sneak into school this time tomorrow. I'm going to catch the bastard in the act. Then, well...

I haven't thought that far ahead, I mean, I can't just shoot the bastard, can I? Maybe if I find him I should get the cops' attention.

But then again, why shouldn't I shoot him? He might have killed Vanessa. And now he's going after Ashley. Who knows how many girls he'll take before he's finished?

I'd talk to Tara about this...but I don't know. She's...I'll understand if she hates me now. I'll understand. I shouldn't have said those things but she doesn't understand. Life's so easy for her. Her parents are rich. She has all the options in the world. Me...I'm white fucking trash. That's not gonna change. And..and I'm a freak. Every girl I know has been fawning over boys since middle school but...nothing. I don't feel anything for boys, or girls either, before you get any ideas. (whoever you are, since I haven't actually been posting these) Just...nothing where hormonal craziness should be.

So there's nothing for me. Nothing for me to lose.

That's it. I'll shoot the bastard. Doesn't matter if I go to jail for it. I don't matter anyway.

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