I can't sleep.
Vanessa is missing and I should have done something. I could have done something.
She was jumpy the whole of Friday night. The other girls kept trying to keep her mind off of it, tried to keep her interested in other things. And it worked for a little while. But then she got up to go to the bathroom and she just started screaming at the top of her lungs and pointing out the window.
The cops were in the house in a flash, like they'd been sitting outside with their fucking ears to the door. She said she saw 'HIM' standing outside, looking in. Saw 'HIM' smiling at her.
They didn't find anything, of course. Told her to calm down and that they'd keep her safe. Yeah, that fucking worked out great, didn't it?
Nothing really happened again until Saturday night. I'd passed out on the floor and woke up when Vanessa started shaking me. Said she saw 'HIM' again, standing a bit away from the house. I told her to tell the cops, but she said 'HE'd leave if they started coming. I asked her what she wanted me to do about 'HIM'.
She told me she wanted me to shoot 'HIM'.
I should have. I should have but I didn't fucking know! How could I have fucking known?!
I grabbed my rifle, loaded a few rounds, and walked out of the house. I saw...it was the guy, the one making the lewd gestures. I didn't get a good look at 'HIM'. I should have shot 'HIM' but I didn't. I started walking towards him, gun aimed.
"Get off my property." I ordered, probably sounding magnitudes less tough than I was trying to sound.
I got close to...to whoever it was. I tried to look them in the face. I don't remember much, but something happened, something happened I don't know what.
When I woke up, I was in the emergency room. Vanessa and Tara were there and Vanessa was a wreck. Devastated.
According to her and Tara, I just fell over. I don't remember falling over. I don't remember anyfuckingthing except that I tried to look 'HIM' in the eyes. Tried to tell him to get off my fucking property again.
I don't know why I'm writing it like that. 'HIM'. It's just, that's her tone. The tone Vanessa used.
I don't know what's going on. The slumber party was a bust after that. They took Vanessa into direct police custody. They kept me under observation for a while but there wasn't anything wrong with me besides a bump on my head from when I fell.
She disappeared. From police custody. Just vanished. They still haven't found her. School was canceled, supposedly because of that, but I heard something different. I heard the janitor found some more flowers in another girl's locker.
I don't know what's going on. I don't remember anything about the guy.
Except one thing. I know 'HE' was smiling. I can't remember what the guy was wearing. I can't remember what 'HIS' face looks like. But I remember he was smiling.
I'll be ready for the smug bastard. Next time I'm shooting first.
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