ORIGINALLY WRITTEN MONDAY, JANUARY 17; 4:01 AM
Mission is go. Smile at this, you bastard.
TITLE: Ashley's Gone
ORIGINALLY WRITTEN SATURDAY FEBRUARY 26; 5:06 PM
Ashley's gone. So is another girl, Felicia, a Junior. I've been under house arrest since the cops found me before class in school with my rifle. No computer access. Not allowed even to leave my room.
I got there early. I managed to get a second-floor window open after shimmying up the gutters. I practically camped in front of Ashley's locker, and I must have blinked because there he was, there he fucking was, right in fucking front of me.
It isn't...I can't really. He wasn't wearing a hoodie. He never was, I just needed to rationalize not being able to see his fucking eyes, because you fucking can't. Oh, they're there, you just can't look in them, you can't fucking look in them because something won't let you, something won't let you. And those long sleeves are because he's in a fucking straight jacket.
And he smiled at me. He smiled at me and his smile was wider than his face, and he had so many teeth, so many goddamn teeth. And then he showed me the bouquet. Black roses, yellow tulips, yellow carnations, white heliotrope, lavender hydrangea. Then he looked at the lockers and smiled, and I knew what he wanted me to do, somehow I just fucking knew.
He wanted me to pick. He wanted me to fucking pick who got the next bouquet.
I was shaking, shaking all over, and yes, yes I was fucking crying because I was ready for a man not a fucking monster. I rose my rifle anyway.
And he kept smiling and shook his head, his face, his eyes, his unseeable eyes turning slowly to Tara's locker, and then back to me. He...no, not he, it smiled even wider, showing off every goddamn tooth. They looked so sharp. Like goddamn fangs.
I dropped the rifle. I dropped the rifle and pointed at someone random, someone who wasn't my only friend. I'm so sorry, Felicia. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry but she's my best friend.
I think it pulled the fire alarm after it was done. The police didn't find it. But they found me and they didn't...they won't believe me. That it was a monster. They think I'm connected but they can't prove it, of course they can't. It wasn't me. It was Mr. Smiles. It was the Smiling Man.
They're letting me use the computer today. They're letting me see Tara today if I have an escort. Now that Felicia's gone...well, they know I couldn't have done that. But I have to report to them. They have me tagged around the ankle like a fucking animal.
I'm sorry, Tara. I'm so sorry. I know, if you knew, you would hate that someone else got hurt instead of you. But I had to.
This Monday, this Monday the next girl gets her bouquet. And I don't know what to do.