My Girlfriends Are Crazy

So, first of all, we're not dead.

We needed to do some relocation.  We're still recovering from Operation Summerborn, if you can fucking believe that.

Here's the short version of Summerborn:  We had inside men and women in Ace's organization.  They helped us get Knight of Coins--that's Leo, by the way--out of Ace's hands.  We wanted to keep them in, so we weren't saying much about it, but, surprise fucking surprise, Ace managed to sniff them out.  We had to free them.  One of them didn't make it.  I'm sure they fucking fed her to that fucking pet monster of theirs.

We're trying not to think about that.  But we, I mean me, because it's hit Tara, Ginger (Ten), and Leo pretty fucking hard and it's hard for them not to think about it.  Tara and Ginger were the ones that came up with the plan, and Ginger and Leo knew our insiders pretty well.

Right now, we're consolidating our resources, regrouping, and trying to stop Smiley from filleting a preteen boy.  So far, we have jack all resources, only a bare minimum of people--if fucking that, and we've narrowed Smiley's location down to one of half a dozen fucking places in this confusing fucking city, and the boy'll probably be dead in less than a week unless we hurry and tag it.

Also, in other news?  The girls I'm dating are really fucking crazy.

I woke up last night with Chelsea's hand on my stomach.  I asked her what the fuck she was doing and she said, "Shhh, I'm getting you pregnant."

Then, out of nowhere--because she wasn't there when we went to bed--Penny comes up and puts her hand on my stomach and says.  "I'm aborting your baby."

Then Chelsea said, "That's awful!  Keep your hand there.  I want to see which one of us wins."

Some nights I almost wish I'd stayed celibate.

AN EXCERPT FROM MY EROTICAL JEANETTE/ALISON SLASH FANFICTION

"Oh Alison."  Jeanette said, softly touching Penny on the cheek.  "Let me fucking show you how a woman really fucking loves another fucking woman."

"You can't, dumbass."  Alison softly moaned back.  "I'm blind."

---COPYRIGHT ALICE  MASON 2012

More From the Road

So I guess by now you can probably guess Operation Summerborn was pretty fucking successful.

Mostly, anyway.

I can't go into details just yet.  There're still some pieces in play.  Or maybe we're just fucking with Ace and want him to think we do.  Guess that's just our little secret.

There's one thing I can say, I guess.  And I probably should, because knowing her, Alice would just fucking tell you all in the most fucking embarrassing way possible, but we're engaged, now.

Alice and I, I mean.

And I might be dating Penny too?  Sort of?  And Alice is cool with it?

I don't fucking know.  This is all really fucking confusing.  I don't even know if we can get actually married, seeing as I'm pretty much a fugitive from the law and stuff.

And I really don't know what's going on with me and Penny.  I say we're kind of dating but mostly we're just...really awkward and sometimes we cuddle and half the time she just makes fun of me and tells me I'm cuddling her wrong?

I really, really don't fucking know why Alice doesn't fucking care, either.  I'm fucking engaged to her but when she sees me and Penny together she's all "That's so cute!  I'mma take a picture and put it on my facebook", and then Penny's all, "you don't have a facebook", and then Alice says, "I'll make one just for this picture.  It'll be called 'My sister and my fiancee:  a romanticall journey'".

...Jesus Fucking Christ, why am I so goddamn head over heels for this family?

Breaking Radio Silence

Breaking radio silence for a quick heads up.

Gonna need to leave as soon as I post this.

It's been months, but we have Knight.

We're not anywhere fucking close to being fucking safe at fucking all yet, though.

More when we're somewhere more secure.

Operation: Summerborn

This is just a post to let Ace of Wands know something.

Operation:  Summerborn is a fucking go.

We're saving Knight.  You better fucking believe it.  Because Operation:  One Night In Bangkok?  That was fucking nothing compared to this.

On that note,

Q > K4

bend me break me anyway you need me

We meet up with Jeanette and Alison tomorrow.


I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I see them.  I've been talking with Tara about it a lot.  And sometimes I ask Ten for her opinion, which annoys her, so I do that some more, because I have to get the younger sibling instinct satisfied somehow.


I've missed them.  I love them both (not in the same way obviously).  I want them both to be happy...and I'm not sure which of us would make Jeanette happier.  And I'm not sure Penny wants to be happy.  And a jealous part of me doesn't care if Penny is happy or not.  Jeanette's the only person I've been with that...that gets me, you know?   And she's so cool.  And amazing. And really, really hot.


And now she has both crazy Balisong sisters nipping at her...I was going to say "skirts" but I don't think I've ever seen Jeanette wearing something that isn't a pair of black jeans.


I guess the mature thing to do would be to talk to them about this rather than venting to the public, but eh, that takes too much work, emotionally.


I guess I just don't know where it goes from here, you know?  Penny's being all Doomsayer on us...and she's probably right.  I just...what do you do with the knowledge that one or more of your friends is absolutely going to die?  Especially since...the way Penny's been talking...I'm pretty sure at least one of them will be one of the two two people I care about most in the world.


And then she drops the "I love you" bomb.


What do people do in this situation?  I try to think of  something, but I keep getting sad and frustrated.


Maybe there isn't something for me to do.  But I can't think like that.  Maybe Jeanette and Penny can, but I...


There has to be something I can do.


-Alice

Not Much Time

Paramilitary goons are looking for us.  We don't have a whole lot of time, so I'll make this brief.

Penny's with me.  She's preparing a transcript of me finding her.  She insists I don't just fucking tell you, because she likes her transcripts.  Whatever.  It doesn't matter.

I'll say two things before I shut down this laptop and we get the fuck out of here:  One, the others found Tara, and we're working on a rendezvous, preferably somewhere neutral where Ace's goons won't find us.

Two, the thing that came out of King?

We're going to have to kill it.

No Word From Jeanette

I could sign on here with my own gmail account, but I'm waaay too lazy for something like that.


This is Alice.  We're in California.  It looks like Tara was here, but from what I can gather, we just missed her.  She seems to have been lucid, so I sent her an email.


I'm a little worried about Jeanette, though.  She hasn't gotten back to us yet.  Last we heard from her was a text that said she had found Penny.  She was going to talk to her and...that was like sixteen hours ago.  I'm worried.  Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm fretting and kind of freaking out.  I just got her back...I don't want to lose her again.  I'm not sure I could take losing her again.

On The Right Track

I'm in St. Louis.  The other two are on their way.  They'll be in LA tomorrow.

No sign of Penny, or Alison.  Whatever the fuck you want to call her.  But she sent me an email.

"you're on the right track (it's a train pun.  GET IT?)
i'll be there tomorrow
steal me a cheeseburger and some bourbon
and meet me at the dumb mall train station thing"

So I'll try that Union Station place tomorrow.  Guess I should steal those things because I'm a fucking delivery service now.

Penny

Penny left this.  In theory.

No fucking clue if it's actually her.

I hope it is.  I really fucking do.  Alice does too, but she's jumping at the possibility a bit too eagerly.  I think she'd run directly into hell if there was a chance this was her sister.

Alice think that the what Penny meant was, Tara is, or will be, near her old house, where her parents live.  It's where Penny's eyes got burned out.  I think I agree with Alice--that's pretty much what she'd consider her beginning, the morbid fucking bitch.

I miss her.

Which is why I'm going to find her.  She said "a station heading west".  Not much to go on.  But if I had to guess, I'd say she's in St. Louis, the "gateway to the west".  If she's not, then I'll start there and head west and hit as many train stations as I can.

Alice and Ten are going to LA to find Tara.  I don't fucking care if they don't want to split up, if there's a trap, I want both of them together.  I can handle a trap on my own.

We head out tomorrow.  As soon as we fucking can.

We'll find them.  We'll get back together.

I fucking promise that.

The Things With Dead Eyes That Used To Be Men

Fuck.

Don't even know where to fucking begin here.  This is some fucked up shit.  Maybe this sort of thing is like, fucking preschool stuff to some of you out there, but I've only been really dealing with Smiley, never many of the others, not fucking directly.

I didn't really believe Alice at first, because it sounded like a pretty tall fucking tale, but Ten corroborates, and I've fucking seen them with my own fucking eyes, so listen up.  And if any of this sounds familiar with anyone, let me know.  I'd like to know what I'm fucking dealing with.  And what the fuck it did with Tara and Alison.

I'd just met up with Ten and Alice.  It was a bit after I punched Ten in the face on principle.  We were out looking for somewhere to get food and maybe get some ice for Ten's face.

Alice was the first one to see it, maybe because she's been the one to see them more.  Still feel pretty fucking careless not spotting it first, though.  Fucking monocular vision.  She saw someone being dragged into an alley.    Ten didn't want to get involved but, fuck it, what's the point of being a goth cowboy if you don't go fucking vigilante once in a fucking while?

She told me to be careful, but I told her I knew what I was doing.  Then I looked down the alley and realized no, I really fucking didn't.

I'm going to say here that it was like a zombie, and I know the first fucking thing that will come to your mind is a Romero zombie.  This wasn't like that.  They're more like voodoo zombies.  They're living and mindless and focused on the task in front of them. This one grabbed a guy and was dragging him, hand over his mouth, somewhere down the alley.

Another thing?  It looked like it was...absorbing the color around it, I guess you could say.  It was all grey and washed out, and I could see that in some places, the guy it was holding was like that too.  Like if Rainbow Brite had a fucking voodoo priest in her Rogues Gallery or something.

I don't know what it was going to do next.  I didn't give it fucking time.  I sprinted up to the fucker with my knife out--to big major a street to risk the Anaconda--and jabbed it right in the bastard's throat.  Grey blood gushed from it, but it kept hauling the guy back.  Like I'd just barely fucking tapped it.

I still didn't want to use the Colt, so I grabbed a loose brick from the alley floor and smashed it down on the zombie...thing's head.  I did that a couple of times, enough that I saw its skull cave in.  It just fucking let me hit it, too.  Didn't even pause dragging the guy back.

I was about to just shoot the fucker when it slowed and stopped, and then loosened its grip and fell back.  The guy it had scurried away as fast as he could and took off screaming.  Ten, Alice, and I had to get away fast, so we couldn't investigate the body.

What we think happened is, it doesn't need the brain to work.  It's programmed, like a fucking computer.  Only thing that killed it in the end was blood loss, because it just really fucking needs the limbs and lungs to work, and it took way too much of that before it started fucking slowing.

My suggestion?  You see these things, go for the heart.  Stop the blood flow altogether.  If I'm right that'll fucking down them faster than anything.

Wish I knew what the fuck they were, or where the fuck they came from.  Best guess?  Whatever the fuck was in King's head has made them.  I don't know more.

All Alice and I remember is that we were sitting with Tara, and Alison was in the other room, talking to King, in this old warehouse we were squatting in.  Then I heard Alison call out something, and then I heard a loud BANG, and then Alice woke up alone in the warehouse a few days later and I woke up in a fucking cornfield months later.

Ten remembers coming to look for us.  She also, seeing the transcript, can sort of recall seeing something but she doesn't remember what.  According to her, she was in the group to see if whatever the fuck Alison knew could be used as a weapon again the Major Arcana (fuck now I'm consistently calling them that).  Knight was there to help his brother, and from talking with King, he was there mostly because Knight was making him.  Ten says she doesn't know any of the specifics on what was in King's head, only that Knight occasionally let slip that it wasn't...a stable entity.  Like maybe it was broken or something?  If the Major Arcana can even break--though I guess the Chariot (Dying Man.  Why do I keep using her terms?) is proof that they might not be immutable.

It's Ace that makes me nervous right now, though.  Not even Ten knew what his deal was, exactly, or how he had that paramilitary group under his command.  She's not even sure his soldiers knew--different squads had different fucking stories about why they were where they were and doing what they were.

Who he is doesn't make me nearly as nervous as the other question:  where the fuck is he now, and what is he doing with all those soldiers?

For that matter, what happened to the, like, fucking dozen of soldiers that tried to capture us?  Are they turning up at random around the country too?  Or around the world?  What if Tara fucking shows up in the middle of fucking North Korea?  What is Alison appears in the fucking jungle?

I really need to find them soon.  I hope whoever posted that fucking clue is Alison or Tara.  But if they are...why haven't they contacted us?

i learned to bribe, i learned to say please

Oh my god you guys.


Jeanette just punched Ten in the snout to establish superiority.


It was seriously incredible.

Touching Base

I have no fucking clue what the hell what happened.  I woke up in a fucking corn field with a fucking death grip on the laptop.  Not covered in blood like Ten.  Fuck, I just fucking know she's going to try to punch me. when she sees me.

I don't know what happened to the others.  But you'd better fucking know by now that I will find them.  And I will fucking save them.

Need to get on a train.  Need to get my gun and knife back.

Need to see Alice again.

What the Fuck

Where the fuck am I?

Why is it June?

Why has Alice been posting on here looking for me?

And yes, this is fucking Jeanette.

jeremy's spoken

Status update:


Current status:


We've found jack all.


Ten can't even get a hold of Ace.  Or any of his weird paramilitary friends.


Gah.


I'll let you know when we find anything.  It's  hard enough not killing each other right now.  We're not exactly friendly.  I'm not sure she wouldn't seriously hurt the people I'm looking for.


There has to be something out there.  Somewhere.

and i am cool, cool as the deep blue ocean

Ten punched me in the fucking face today.


I think she's back to normal.


She wanted to know where the fuck she was and who I was.  I told her that I was Chelsea.


She's a bit calmer now, but she wants answers.  I don't think she believes me when I tell her I don't have them.  It seems like she doesn't remember anything from the point she vanished.  She doesn't even remember what did it.


Only that she was terrified.


Still.  It's a start.


I know who she is, too.  Her username used to be SephysWife.  She's one of the group who thought this up.  Apparently some bad shit went down with her family, courtesy of our favorite smiling gentleman.


We're not sure what to do.  We're going to lie low.  Look for clues and try to stay out of the sight of...whatever the fuck.  You know, boring stuff like that.


But....if I can find Ten...maybe I can find Jeanette too.  And Alison.  And Tara.


Maybe I can actually do this.


After all, I finally have help.

my head explodes and my body aches

I love  that song.


I think Ten said something today.  I didn't quite make it out, because I wasn't paying attention.


But it's a sign.  It's something.


I don't think we're being chased.  Well, I'm pretty sure we're being chased, but I haven't seen any sign of it.


Not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.

short update

I'm on the East Coast now, with maybeTen.


Just as the Smiley killings stopped.


I have no clue what I should be doing and I'm getting really tired of saying that.


Ten's sort of stabilized.  But she's not getting any better.  I'm not an expert at this sort of thing.  I don't know who is.  I don't even know what happened to her.


I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen.  I need to take initiative but I don't know what that could be.


I'm just getting tired, you know?

but if you try some time, you just might find

You know how they say you can't break an omelet without breaking a few eggs?


Well, sometimes you can't abduct a catatonic girl without setting fire to a women's shelter?


Oh god I'm going to hell for that.


It wasn't a serious fire.  But it was a grease fire.  So I guess it was kind of serious but I mean no one was hurt.


Except the shelter.  I mean, the kitchen was pretty damaged, but it's still standing and all.


Don't you judge me.


I grabbed Ten and ran when I had the chance.


And guess what?  Guess fucking what?


Those things?  With dead eyes that used to be men?


Yeah.  Two of them decided to attack at that point.  So I ran and let the cops handle them.


God damnit.  I am so going to hell.


But I have maybeTen.


She's still not responding, but she'll eat when food is put in front of her.  I still have to clean her and stuff, which I sort of got used to helping Alison, so there's that.


No clue what to do from here.  But it's a start.

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK


WHY DID I DO THAT


HAVE TEN


NEED TO RUN


FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ALISON WOULD FUCKING KILL ME IF SHE WAS STILL AROUND SHIT