Thursday, December 30, 2010

Weirdness I Did Not Need

So I got home from Gran's on Monday, got some nice gifts, and one awesome one (got me a cellphone, bitches. Dad gives the best gifts) and just basically wanted to unwind when Tara called me. Which is cool, as I was going to call her. Not so cool is the following, which is more or less a transcript of the call.

Tara: Hey, it's me.

Me: Hey double T, wanna chill later?

T: Totally. But, hey listen, do you want to have, like, a slumber party this weekend?

J: ...A slumber party? Did we turn thirteen again and I didn't notice?

T: I know, I know, but Carol Anne and Bethany really want one.

((Tara is using the tone of voice reserved for asking me to do something she knows I won't want to do))

J: ...there're conditions, aren't there?

T: They want it at your house, they want it Thursday, they want it to last the whole weekend, and they want to bring Vanessa along. I think it was Vanessa's idea. She's Carol Anne's cousin.

J: Why the fuck do they want a sleepover here? We only have the one bathroom, one couch, and no spare bed.

T: Well....they said we can do it somewhere else but please don't get mad, Jeanette.

J: What is it?

T: Carol said the only way Vanessa would want to stay somewhere else is if you brought your gun with you. I think that's the only reason she wants the sleepover, so you can be there with a gun.

She's really freaked right now. Apparently she woke up and her window was open and there were flowers on the sill.

J: Doesn't she have fucking cops following her or something?

((right here my mom yelled at me for profanity because I was getting pretty loud))

T: Pretty sure they'll be there too, waiting outside. Um, it might have been their idea.

J: That's BS and you know it. It was Carol Anne's fucking idea.

T: She's not that...

J: This is the same bitch that always jokes about me being a fucking Columbine kid waiting to happen. The only reason she even tries to be friends with me is because she's afraid of me.

((long pause))

T: should I tell her no?

J: Let me ask my parents.

((they say yes because they want me to make friends with people who aren't Tara. Mom adds the usual "You hang around one girl all the time and...well, people might talk" bullshit))

J: They said yes. But you might want to see if we can do it at your place instead.

T: Sorry to dump this on you, hon.

J: Yeah,'ve better gotten me a good Christmas present, bitch.

T: Whatever. You were crying.

J; Shut up, no I wasn't.


I wasn't, she's a lying bitch.

Anyway, looks like Tara's parents are having a New Year's Party, and my parents are going to a New Year's Party, so there's going to be four other girls in my bathroom all weekend.

I almost hope this stalker shows up so I can let out some aggression.

Oh and also I know it's weird I only really have one friend, but, honestly, Tara's the only person I've met I know I can trust and depend on. She's the only friend I need.

God she's not going to let me live down posting that.

Anyway they get here at like three in the afternoon so I should get some sleep.

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