"I just have your best interests in mind."
"If you keep wearing pants and t-shirts like that people will think you're a lesbian."
"I just don't want you to end up like your mother, pregnant, married to a drunken lowlife and living in a sty before you finish highschool."
"Don't you roll your eyes at me, missy. You can just forget about dinner and maybe if you're lucky I won't return all your presents in the morning."
Gee Gran, I love you too.
Please save me from this nightmare.
~~ Transcribed over the phone by Tara at Jeanette's request