and i am cool, cool as the deep blue ocean

Ten punched me in the fucking face today.


I think she's back to normal.


She wanted to know where the fuck she was and who I was.  I told her that I was Chelsea.


She's a bit calmer now, but she wants answers.  I don't think she believes me when I tell her I don't have them.  It seems like she doesn't remember anything from the point she vanished.  She doesn't even remember what did it.


Only that she was terrified.


Still.  It's a start.


I know who she is, too.  Her username used to be SephysWife.  She's one of the group who thought this up.  Apparently some bad shit went down with her family, courtesy of our favorite smiling gentleman.


We're not sure what to do.  We're going to lie low.  Look for clues and try to stay out of the sight of...whatever the fuck.  You know, boring stuff like that.


But....if I can find Ten...maybe I can find Jeanette too.  And Alison.  And Tara.


Maybe I can actually do this.


After all, I finally have help.

my head explodes and my body aches

I love  that song.


I think Ten said something today.  I didn't quite make it out, because I wasn't paying attention.


But it's a sign.  It's something.


I don't think we're being chased.  Well, I'm pretty sure we're being chased, but I haven't seen any sign of it.


Not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.

short update

I'm on the East Coast now, with maybeTen.


Just as the Smiley killings stopped.


I have no clue what I should be doing and I'm getting really tired of saying that.


Ten's sort of stabilized.  But she's not getting any better.  I'm not an expert at this sort of thing.  I don't know who is.  I don't even know what happened to her.


I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen.  I need to take initiative but I don't know what that could be.


I'm just getting tired, you know?

but if you try some time, you just might find

You know how they say you can't break an omelet without breaking a few eggs?


Well, sometimes you can't abduct a catatonic girl without setting fire to a women's shelter?


Oh god I'm going to hell for that.


It wasn't a serious fire.  But it was a grease fire.  So I guess it was kind of serious but I mean no one was hurt.


Except the shelter.  I mean, the kitchen was pretty damaged, but it's still standing and all.


Don't you judge me.


I grabbed Ten and ran when I had the chance.


And guess what?  Guess fucking what?


Those things?  With dead eyes that used to be men?


Yeah.  Two of them decided to attack at that point.  So I ran and let the cops handle them.


God damnit.  I am so going to hell.


But I have maybeTen.


She's still not responding, but she'll eat when food is put in front of her.  I still have to clean her and stuff, which I sort of got used to helping Alison, so there's that.


No clue what to do from here.  But it's a start.

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK


WHY DID I DO THAT


HAVE TEN


NEED TO RUN


FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ALISON WOULD FUCKING KILL ME IF SHE WAS STILL AROUND SHIT

it's just a kiss away

So, I'm in the shelter.


I don't have access to maybeTen.  She's still being watched by cops.  I'm not sure how I'm going to get to her.


It gets worse, too.  Eventually, cops are going to want to talk to me.  See, I kinda told the people here that I came from an abusive relationship?  I've said I'm not comfortable talking about it yet but I have to say something eventually, and my meal ticket isn't going to last forever.


I don't have much time.  Eventually those things with dead eyes that used to be men might come back.  They want maybeTen.  I don't know why.  I don't know where she was, or how she got out.


Then there's Smiley out there.  I need to at least try to stop him.  I owe it to them to at least try.


Should I call it "him"?  Jeanette went out of her way not to.  Alison never even referred to it by name, just by arcana.


I wish I knew what to do.  I'm not the smart one.  They were all so much smarter than me.  Especially Jeanette...she was so much smarter than she thought she was.  I think she was the smartest of us all.


Not me, though.  I'm the dumb one.


I need a plan.


Where's all that crazy bravado I had when I was posting that random  shit?  Gone now that little Alice needs to actually get her hands dirty.


More when I find out what to do.

and you wanted to dance, so i asked you to dance, but fear was in your soul

I haven't figured out a way to gain access to maybeTen yet.  There are even more cops there now.


Tara or Penny would have had an idea.


I'm the dumb one.  Whenever they had meetings I'd just sort of listen and make jokes.  And now I'm the one who has to pick up the pieces.


If I was smarter, maybe I'd know what was going on.  I'd know what was in King's head.


The only thing I can think of is...maybe they weren't trapped?


I don't know where to go from there.  I don't have people to talk to about this.


I always thought I was taking care of Penny/Alison, after she lost her eyes.  Yeah, she's older, but she  needed help.  I never stopped to think that maybe she was looking after me.  That maybe she was the reason I survived all this as long as I did.


I miss her.  Mom and Dad liked to pretend she didn't exist, but I never did.


I wish I could find her.


Maybe getting to Ten will give me some answers.


More later after I do some brainstorming.