Like Family

It's really not much.

One depressed kind of crazy girl, one insecure white-knight-complex girl, one optimistic and kind of naive girl, and one strange and funny girl. At least one of us, at any given point in time, is getting on the nerves of at least one of the other of us.

Soon, we put our dumb plan into action. Hopefully it'll work, but if it doesn't...

Then I'm glad I had these girls with me, if just for a little while.

If nothing else, it was like having a second family.

Merry Christmas everybody. Don't forget to be happy to be with your family, blood related or not, no matter how strange it might be.

God Damnit Penny

Stop fucking talking about Proxiehunter's blog.

Jesus, we get it, you have a crush on him, can we move on?

Oh, now I see why Chelsea reads shit like this aloud. That's actually pretty fucking hilarious.

Theories

So, I've been thinking, while we're coming up with a few plans on what to do next. I think I know what Smiley went after those potential victims/proxies.

I think is was kind of a "Hey assholes, remember me?" thing. Like, it's been locked away so long or whatever the fuck it was doing in Penny's head, it wanted to make sure the rest of the Fears knew it was back.

Just an idea, probably not even fucking accurate. Could have just as easily been, "Oh hey, Jeanette, you're my proxy now. Deal with these assholes, would you?"

Maybe I should start looking up when it was locked up? Might not give me much, but maybe I can find someone to stop it and things like it, or some fucking thing.

Anyway, back to trying to salvage the terrible fucking plan Tara came up with.

Nope

Not talking about the psychos in this post. Not going to do it. Too much else is fucking going on. Besides, we're going to buy alcohol soon so I don't have all that much time.

For one, I guess Hunter was alive and then died again? Fuck. I'll need to get some for him, too. Hope you found some resolution, man. Or at least killed what you meant to kill.

Not focusing on that, though.

Mostly today I'll be talking about my relationship.

Basically, I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. Every once in a while Alice is all "Let's cuddle now!" and I say, "I'm busy." and then she does it anyway.

How does this work? I guess it's alright but I'm fucking lost as hell.

The others are no fucking help, either. Penny mimes vomiting whenever the subject's brought up and Tara just stands there like a fucking idiot, calling us a "cute couple". What the fuck does that even fucking mean?

Fuck, it doesn't even matter. This is just getting me confused and frustrated so I guess I'll talk about the guys who shot at us anyway.

Penny and Tara think at least one of them was from their little message board group? I don't even fucking know. They only talk to each other about it. Way to keep secrets from the one who, you know can fucking protect you better than anyone else around fucking here.

And this business about Smiley being locked in Penny's head? Fuck if I know what that's all about. She posted it without talking to any of us about. Not even fucking Alice, and then, of course, she doesn't talk to anyone about it afterwards either.

Just fucking fantastic.

...I guess there is something else. Always is, right?

Ten of Wands sent me a message.

"This is all your fault.

I hope I'm the one who gets to kill you."

This was so much easier when it was just me, alone, hunting Smiley. Sure, it sucked, but there weren't fucking factions, there weren't people with me I had to fucking protect. Just me and it.

Speaking of the devil (not The Devil, that's something different. Thanks for giving everything a confusing second name, Penny!), it's been hitting a few places pretty hard lately.

I know what happens if we don't save them, but right now....ug, they're probably waiting for us at at least one of the places. We need to find it but we also need to not get fucking shot.

I seriously cannot fucking get that alcohol fast e-fucking-nough.

Urg.

Tomorrow, I will have had this blog for a year.

Woopty fucking do.

As you might've pieced together, I got shot in the leg the other day. See, I got this email. It was from a girl, saying she'd gotten a bouquet, asking for our help.

We didn't want the guys following us to know about it, so we didn't post anything to our blogs about going to help her.

It turns out there was no girl. Never fucking was. Just a trap. They were waiting for us.

I'm not sure how many there are. This blog seems to indicate there's just four of them but maybe those are just the leaders. Maybe there're footsoldiers. Maybe these four are agents of some obscure fucking puppet masters somewhere.

All I know is, whether Penny really doesn't remember or if she does, no one gets that info. No one. Even with a fucking reason. If she really has some big Fear-making or Fear-forming or Fear-freeing secret somewhere in her crazy head, then I'd sooner die than let anyone have it.

Fuck, I don't even think it'd be safe with me. If there was power like that, who would you trust it to? I know like fucking half of you just said "Not Penny". I know I did.

But the thing is, she might be the best fucking choice. I can't get her to talk about it--she outright fucking refuses to let one fucking word escape her lips on the topic except to profess ignorance. Fuck, Alice can't get her to talk about it. She insists she doesn't know but I can tell it's not true. We can all fucking tell it's not true.

Christ, I'm in over my fucking head. These people have stated they're willing to fake Smiley attacks and to frame Smiley. You know the MO of a Fear and it's not hard to fucking copy them, not if you're real fucking good at what you do.

Anyway, happy fucking one-year anniversary of being totally fucked.