I Hate This Car

Penny, why is your car so terrible? I mean, you're blind but that's no fucking excuse.

I mean, what is this fucking car's deal I don't even fucking know.

It's like this car is dying for Detroit's fucking sins. But every time there's a new one it fucking dies again.

We'll be in NJ within the next few days, assuming this car does fall into fucking pieces by then.

Oh. Um. In other news. There's...other news.

I don't really want to get into it right now, though.

It's kind of confusing and awkward.

Anyway, stay safe and don't do anything retarded.

Hey, Pete

Leave them.

Wander off into the woods or something and don't fucking come back.

If you're there by the time I get there.

If you've hurt them at all.

If you've even fucking looked at them wrong.

I will kill you.

I've killed before.

It just gets easier.

Especially with a gun. And oh yes, I do have my revolver.

So yes. Go and never come back. Because if you stay, well.

Like Penny said.

Better sleep with one eye open.

SHUT UP JEANETTE

I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN YOU'RE JUST A SHIT DRIVER

GODDAMNIT CHELSEA

WHY ARE WE IN COLORADO

GODDAMNIT CHELSEA YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY NAVIGATOR

Chelsea Here

Hey guys, this is Chelsea Balisong.

I'm too lazy to start my own blog so I'm using Jeanette's. She probably won't mind.

Anyway, we're at a motel in the middle of the desert. It's...I'm not going to lie. It is dull as fuck.

Also I've been swearing a whole lot more since hanging out with Jeanette. I think she's a bad influence. My poor virgin mind has been sullied!

I've been reading this out loud to Jeanette and she just let out a bark of laughter. I'm not sure why.

Anyway, in the morning we'll continue on our way to save my sister and Jeanette's lesbian lover and she just punched me. I'm not sure why she's so randomly violent all the time.

As always,

Chelsea Balisong