AN EXCERPT FROM MY EROTICAL JEANETTE/ALISON SLASH FANFICTION

"Oh Alison."  Jeanette said, softly touching Penny on the cheek.  "Let me fucking show you how a woman really fucking loves another fucking woman."

"You can't, dumbass."  Alison softly moaned back.  "I'm blind."

---COPYRIGHT ALICE  MASON 2012

bend me break me anyway you need me

We meet up with Jeanette and Alison tomorrow.


I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I see them.  I've been talking with Tara about it a lot.  And sometimes I ask Ten for her opinion, which annoys her, so I do that some more, because I have to get the younger sibling instinct satisfied somehow.


I've missed them.  I love them both (not in the same way obviously).  I want them both to be happy...and I'm not sure which of us would make Jeanette happier.  And I'm not sure Penny wants to be happy.  And a jealous part of me doesn't care if Penny is happy or not.  Jeanette's the only person I've been with that...that gets me, you know?   And she's so cool.  And amazing. And really, really hot.


And now she has both crazy Balisong sisters nipping at her...I was going to say "skirts" but I don't think I've ever seen Jeanette wearing something that isn't a pair of black jeans.


I guess the mature thing to do would be to talk to them about this rather than venting to the public, but eh, that takes too much work, emotionally.


I guess I just don't know where it goes from here, you know?  Penny's being all Doomsayer on us...and she's probably right.  I just...what do you do with the knowledge that one or more of your friends is absolutely going to die?  Especially since...the way Penny's been talking...I'm pretty sure at least one of them will be one of the two two people I care about most in the world.


And then she drops the "I love you" bomb.


What do people do in this situation?  I try to think of  something, but I keep getting sad and frustrated.


Maybe there isn't something for me to do.  But I can't think like that.  Maybe Jeanette and Penny can, but I...


There has to be something I can do.


-Alice

No Word From Jeanette

I could sign on here with my own gmail account, but I'm waaay too lazy for something like that.


This is Alice.  We're in California.  It looks like Tara was here, but from what I can gather, we just missed her.  She seems to have been lucid, so I sent her an email.


I'm a little worried about Jeanette, though.  She hasn't gotten back to us yet.  Last we heard from her was a text that said she had found Penny.  She was going to talk to her and...that was like sixteen hours ago.  I'm worried.  Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm fretting and kind of freaking out.  I just got her back...I don't want to lose her again.  I'm not sure I could take losing her again.

it's just a kiss away

So, I'm in the shelter.


I don't have access to maybeTen.  She's still being watched by cops.  I'm not sure how I'm going to get to her.


It gets worse, too.  Eventually, cops are going to want to talk to me.  See, I kinda told the people here that I came from an abusive relationship?  I've said I'm not comfortable talking about it yet but I have to say something eventually, and my meal ticket isn't going to last forever.


I don't have much time.  Eventually those things with dead eyes that used to be men might come back.  They want maybeTen.  I don't know why.  I don't know where she was, or how she got out.


Then there's Smiley out there.  I need to at least try to stop him.  I owe it to them to at least try.


Should I call it "him"?  Jeanette went out of her way not to.  Alison never even referred to it by name, just by arcana.


I wish I knew what to do.  I'm not the smart one.  They were all so much smarter than me.  Especially Jeanette...she was so much smarter than she thought she was.  I think she was the smartest of us all.


Not me, though.  I'm the dumb one.


I need a plan.


Where's all that crazy bravado I had when I was posting that random  shit?  Gone now that little Alice needs to actually get her hands dirty.


More when I find out what to do.

what's goin' on

They found a Jane Doe on the Ferris Wheel, like, the day after I got that message.  Hasn't really spoken, as far as I know.  She's in a women's shelter, but the police are keeping a pretty good watch on her.  I think this has something to do with the fact she was found covered in blood.  But this is just guesswork on my part.


I was just scoping it out, minding my own business, when this guy...thing is probably more accurate, thing with dead eyes that used to be a man, attacked me.  I managed to fend him off.  With bullets.  About six of them.


And then the cops were like, 'that smokin' hot girl in a hoodie just up and shot a guy.  we should do something about that' and started chasing me.  I only got away when the thing with dead eyes that used to be a man got right back the fuck up and tried to break into the shelter.


You know, I cursed the left handed revolver, but honestly it really saved my ass, because if I'd managed to reload it in time I might've done something really fucking stupid like shoot at the cops.


Anyway, I think they managed to down the thing with dead eyes that used to be a man.  Eventually.  I wasn't there, though.  Need to find another way to get to the Jane Doe.


The worst part is, I'm even sure who it is.  She's Hispanic, or possibly  some kind of Asian, or maybe mixed race, I didn't get a  good look--but all of us are/were white bitches.


I think I know who it might be, though.


I think she might be Ten.

FUCKING SOUTHPAWS

FUCKING LEFT HANDED REVOLVERS


FUCKING COPS


FUCKING CHICAGO


SHE BETTER APPRECIATE ALL THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT I'M GOING THROUGH


GODDAMN IT IT'S NOT EVEN TARA


WHY AM I DOING THIS?


FUCKING SINISTER GODDAMN ASSHOLES

i see a red door

So I'm on my way to Chicago.


I don't know why I'm doing this.


I should be hiding in the bushes outside an all-girls school in New England, like my teenage aspirations, only a lot more  morbid.  Instead, I'm going to one of the largest cities in the country on the hunch that there'll be something waiting for me in or around the Ferris Wheel on Navy Pier.


I'm not sure what's there.  Or who wants me to go there.


Maybe it's that...thing that was in King's head, before...


I really need to explain that one day.  It's just hard to remember, honestly.  A lot of what happened, what brought us to this point, is absent from my mind.


Maybe there are some answers there.

the fuck?

What the hell is this?  Sis?  Is that you?


Is it some sort of code?  I don't get it.  What're you trying to say?


I probably could research this or something, but I'm busy stalking Smiley.


If someone can tell me what the hell that post means, great.


...I hope it's Alison, anyway.  Or Jeanette.  Or even Tara.  I miss them.


Why not just come out and say something, though?  Why obscure it in some dumb word puzzle thing?  There's something off about this.  Something I'm not seeing.


It's probably not too hard to crack but I really don't have time for now.  Only weapons I have are Jeanette's--the knife and the revolver, and I'm terrible with both.  She was showing me how to use the knife when well you know.  Gone.


Have to go.  I can still get some searching done before it gets too late.

I Think She'll Know

I still can't find her, and neither can I.  I'm still looking, though.


I love her.  I hope, through the weird teasing and stuff I did on these blogs, you people know that.  I love Jeanette.


I love Alison and Tara to, but, like, family, you know?  I wanted to be with Jeanette.  Wanted to be hers.


It...it's come for me, again.  It's sending more people...more things after me.  I don't know what I should do.  I don't know what I can do.  There used to be no blood on my hands.  I was the innocent one.  I talked a  big game of not being innocent, but I was.  The way it mattered.


Some would say it doesn't matter if a proxy dies, but I don't know.  I don't know how this thing is using them.  Maybe it's forcing them.  Maybe they don't get a say.


I don't know what it is.  What it looks like, how it acts.  Why it doesn't just come and take me like it did the others.  Maybe it's better I don't know.  Maybe that's what keeps me safe.


Anyway, I'm on the road.


There's a place on the East Coast that girls and boys have started getting flowers at.  And then...do I really need to explain the rest, at this point?  I'm headed there.


Jeanette and Alison aren't here.  Not even Tara.


If no one else is gonna hunt Ol' Smiley, guess it's gotta be me.