Urg.

Tomorrow, I will have had this blog for a year.

Woopty fucking do.

As you might've pieced together, I got shot in the leg the other day. See, I got this email. It was from a girl, saying she'd gotten a bouquet, asking for our help.

We didn't want the guys following us to know about it, so we didn't post anything to our blogs about going to help her.

It turns out there was no girl. Never fucking was. Just a trap. They were waiting for us.

I'm not sure how many there are. This blog seems to indicate there's just four of them but maybe those are just the leaders. Maybe there're footsoldiers. Maybe these four are agents of some obscure fucking puppet masters somewhere.

All I know is, whether Penny really doesn't remember or if she does, no one gets that info. No one. Even with a fucking reason. If she really has some big Fear-making or Fear-forming or Fear-freeing secret somewhere in her crazy head, then I'd sooner die than let anyone have it.

Fuck, I don't even think it'd be safe with me. If there was power like that, who would you trust it to? I know like fucking half of you just said "Not Penny". I know I did.

But the thing is, she might be the best fucking choice. I can't get her to talk about it--she outright fucking refuses to let one fucking word escape her lips on the topic except to profess ignorance. Fuck, Alice can't get her to talk about it. She insists she doesn't know but I can tell it's not true. We can all fucking tell it's not true.

Christ, I'm in over my fucking head. These people have stated they're willing to fake Smiley attacks and to frame Smiley. You know the MO of a Fear and it's not hard to fucking copy them, not if you're real fucking good at what you do.

Anyway, happy fucking one-year anniversary of being totally fucked.

So

It's my birthday apparently.

Woo-fucking-hoo. Nineteen years old.

I feel so fucking special.

Anyway, Page is pretty cool. We've hung out a bit while I'm weighing my options on how to get back to Illinois.

Apparently Penny and Tara are getting along pretty well, too. Turns out she really is CarrionPrincess, so I guess they know each other.

Tara says she isn't but I'm pretty sure she's trying to find Smiley without me. Penny says she isn't either, but I'm pretty sure she goes with Tara. Also, I'm pretty sure Penny's helping her just to enrage me.

So, anyway, happy fucking birthday to me.

Maybe I'll get a laser for it.

Fucking lasers. Jesus Christ.

From Tara, Again

Hey guys, this is Tara, again. Things are looking good on the illicit medical care front. Should be able to have her see someone tomorrow.

One of the comments asked "what the hell" I was thinking when making Smiley. Honestly...I don't think any of us thought it would work. Mostly we were just writing stories and doing terrible jobs doctoring images. Only one of us took it super seriously And I think she was doing...something else.

She was never terribly upfront about what she was doing, though. I don't know her real name, but she went by CarrionPrincess. We called her Cari for short. She kept talking about rituals and secrets. I wasn't too close with her. Will, WTRainbow was, but I can't get a hold of any of the old gang. I guess Jack's dead now, but, as for the others I have no idea where they are.

Cari was also one of the first ones to drop off the map. The last thing she said to anyone was that she had "seen something awful".

As for who Penny Balisong is, I'm not sure. Though I'm pretty sure it's a pseudonym (given that her last name is essentially butterfly knife). My best guess, actually, would be that she's Cari. She always kind of had a trolling streak, after all.

That's all I can really think of for now. I should probably get going because Jeanette is looking super annoyed at me.

Tara, out.