My Girlfriends Are Crazy

So, first of all, we're not dead.

We needed to do some relocation.  We're still recovering from Operation Summerborn, if you can fucking believe that.

Here's the short version of Summerborn:  We had inside men and women in Ace's organization.  They helped us get Knight of Coins--that's Leo, by the way--out of Ace's hands.  We wanted to keep them in, so we weren't saying much about it, but, surprise fucking surprise, Ace managed to sniff them out.  We had to free them.  One of them didn't make it.  I'm sure they fucking fed her to that fucking pet monster of theirs.

We're trying not to think about that.  But we, I mean me, because it's hit Tara, Ginger (Ten), and Leo pretty fucking hard and it's hard for them not to think about it.  Tara and Ginger were the ones that came up with the plan, and Ginger and Leo knew our insiders pretty well.

Right now, we're consolidating our resources, regrouping, and trying to stop Smiley from filleting a preteen boy.  So far, we have jack all resources, only a bare minimum of people--if fucking that, and we've narrowed Smiley's location down to one of half a dozen fucking places in this confusing fucking city, and the boy'll probably be dead in less than a week unless we hurry and tag it.

Also, in other news?  The girls I'm dating are really fucking crazy.

I woke up last night with Chelsea's hand on my stomach.  I asked her what the fuck she was doing and she said, "Shhh, I'm getting you pregnant."

Then, out of nowhere--because she wasn't there when we went to bed--Penny comes up and puts her hand on my stomach and says.  "I'm aborting your baby."

Then Chelsea said, "That's awful!  Keep your hand there.  I want to see which one of us wins."

Some nights I almost wish I'd stayed celibate.

AN EXCERPT FROM MY EROTICAL JEANETTE/ALISON SLASH FANFICTION

"Oh Alison."  Jeanette said, softly touching Penny on the cheek.  "Let me fucking show you how a woman really fucking loves another fucking woman."

"You can't, dumbass."  Alison softly moaned back.  "I'm blind."

---COPYRIGHT ALICE  MASON 2012

More From the Road

So I guess by now you can probably guess Operation Summerborn was pretty fucking successful.

Mostly, anyway.

I can't go into details just yet.  There're still some pieces in play.  Or maybe we're just fucking with Ace and want him to think we do.  Guess that's just our little secret.

There's one thing I can say, I guess.  And I probably should, because knowing her, Alice would just fucking tell you all in the most fucking embarrassing way possible, but we're engaged, now.

Alice and I, I mean.

And I might be dating Penny too?  Sort of?  And Alice is cool with it?

I don't fucking know.  This is all really fucking confusing.  I don't even know if we can get actually married, seeing as I'm pretty much a fugitive from the law and stuff.

And I really don't know what's going on with me and Penny.  I say we're kind of dating but mostly we're just...really awkward and sometimes we cuddle and half the time she just makes fun of me and tells me I'm cuddling her wrong?

I really, really don't fucking know why Alice doesn't fucking care, either.  I'm fucking engaged to her but when she sees me and Penny together she's all "That's so cute!  I'mma take a picture and put it on my facebook", and then Penny's all, "you don't have a facebook", and then Alice says, "I'll make one just for this picture.  It'll be called 'My sister and my fiancee:  a romanticall journey'".

...Jesus Fucking Christ, why am I so goddamn head over heels for this family?

Breaking Radio Silence

Breaking radio silence for a quick heads up.

Gonna need to leave as soon as I post this.

It's been months, but we have Knight.

We're not anywhere fucking close to being fucking safe at fucking all yet, though.

More when we're somewhere more secure.

Operation: Summerborn

This is just a post to let Ace of Wands know something.

Operation:  Summerborn is a fucking go.

We're saving Knight.  You better fucking believe it.  Because Operation:  One Night In Bangkok?  That was fucking nothing compared to this.

On that note,

Q > K4

bend me break me anyway you need me

We meet up with Jeanette and Alison tomorrow.


I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I see them.  I've been talking with Tara about it a lot.  And sometimes I ask Ten for her opinion, which annoys her, so I do that some more, because I have to get the younger sibling instinct satisfied somehow.


I've missed them.  I love them both (not in the same way obviously).  I want them both to be happy...and I'm not sure which of us would make Jeanette happier.  And I'm not sure Penny wants to be happy.  And a jealous part of me doesn't care if Penny is happy or not.  Jeanette's the only person I've been with that...that gets me, you know?   And she's so cool.  And amazing. And really, really hot.


And now she has both crazy Balisong sisters nipping at her...I was going to say "skirts" but I don't think I've ever seen Jeanette wearing something that isn't a pair of black jeans.


I guess the mature thing to do would be to talk to them about this rather than venting to the public, but eh, that takes too much work, emotionally.


I guess I just don't know where it goes from here, you know?  Penny's being all Doomsayer on us...and she's probably right.  I just...what do you do with the knowledge that one or more of your friends is absolutely going to die?  Especially since...the way Penny's been talking...I'm pretty sure at least one of them will be one of the two two people I care about most in the world.


And then she drops the "I love you" bomb.


What do people do in this situation?  I try to think of  something, but I keep getting sad and frustrated.


Maybe there isn't something for me to do.  But I can't think like that.  Maybe Jeanette and Penny can, but I...


There has to be something I can do.


-Alice

Not Much Time

Paramilitary goons are looking for us.  We don't have a whole lot of time, so I'll make this brief.

Penny's with me.  She's preparing a transcript of me finding her.  She insists I don't just fucking tell you, because she likes her transcripts.  Whatever.  It doesn't matter.

I'll say two things before I shut down this laptop and we get the fuck out of here:  One, the others found Tara, and we're working on a rendezvous, preferably somewhere neutral where Ace's goons won't find us.

Two, the thing that came out of King?

We're going to have to kill it.